The rite of the wedding ceremony in the form that exists now was formed back in the 1st century AD, that is, at the time of the birth of Christianity.
But church weddings then took place after the liturgy - the most important Christian service, and today weddings are usually carried out as an independent event.
The purpose of the ritual is to take an oath of allegiance before God, to seal your union with God’s blessing and to receive a blessing for the birth and upbringing of future children.
What is a wedding
The wedding ceremony has a specific purpose: you take an oath of fidelity before God and all the guests present, receive a blessing for your sacred union, as well as for the birth and upbringing of children.
If you want to not only register your relationship in the registry office, but also get married, you need to know some points: what are the requirements for those who want to get married in a church, how this ceremony takes place, how long it lasts, what needs to be done in advance and how to behave in the temple.
Let's deal with all the points in order.
How long does it take?
On average, a wedding lasts from 40 minutes to an hour, but there are exceptions. The exact duration depends on the church and the priest who reads the prayers. Some people do it slowly, without missing a single word, while others can read a little faster. In some cases, for example, when there are a large number of people wishing to get married on a particular day, it is allowed to skip certain parts of the church text.
If you decide to get married in a church that is popular and has a large influx of people, then the ceremony can last 20 minutes. Such churches usually practice weddings of several couples at the same time. But many do not like this option, because the sacrament is carried out in a hurry.
You can chat with people who have already gotten married in the church of your choice. They will tell you approximately how long the wedding will last.
Basic requirements for those getting married
- Those wishing to get married must certainly be baptized in the Orthodox Church. If one or both spouses are not baptized, this can be done before the wedding - the main thing is to agree on everything in advance;
- The marriage must be registered in accordance with the law of the Russian Federation - before the ceremony, you must enter into a civil marriage at the registry office. Also check to see if you need to bring a marriage certificate with you, as many churches require it;
- Before the ritual, you must confess and take communion.
- If there is a significant difference in the age of the newlyweds, you must first obtain special permission from the bishop;
- Same-sex marriages, marriages between step-relatives, half-brothers and half-siblings are prohibited.
- According to the instructions of the church calendar, weddings are not held on certain days of the week (Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday), as well as on the eve of great church holidays and temple days. They don’t get married on Christmastide or fasting.
Is it possible to get married a second or third time?
The Church allows such a wedding only with the deep blessing of the ruling bishop of the area where the couple is going to get married.
The blessing can be obtained if you provide convincing arguments to the ruling bishop.
Is it possible to get married before the wedding, that is, before registering the marriage at the registry office?
In modern practice, the wedding takes place after the state registration of the marriage. If a person cannot take legal responsibility for another person - in the face of the state, in the face of society, then what kind of spiritual responsibility can we talk about?
How the ritual is performed
The wedding ceremony is divided into several important stages. I'll tell you about each in detail.
- Blessing. Before entering the temple, the newlyweds wait for the priest in the vestibule: the groom stands on the right, and the bride on the left, both facing the altar. The priest approaches them, holding two burning candles in his hands as a symbol of purity and chastity. Then he blesses the bride and groom three times, hands them candles and blesses them with cross-shaped incense.
- Betrothal - this part of the ritual aims to convey to the young and those present the full importance of the sacrament of marriage, to awaken in their hearts deep respect and awe for this event. It is after the blessing that the priest and the newlyweds go to the temple itself, where the clergyman engages them, after which they put wedding rings on each other three times.
- A marriage according to religious canons, during which the bride and groom confirm their voluntary and inviolable intention to enter into a marital union. On the lectern (special table) lie the Gospel, crucifix and crowns. The bride and groom, with lit candles in their hands, kneel in front of this table and swear an oath to the inviolability of their union. The priest reads prayers, after which he baptizes the bride and groom with a crown. Then the young bow their heads under the crowns, drink wine from a special cup, and follow the priest around the lectern. This is followed by the ritual union of two hearts, and the wedding ceremony ends with wishes for many years of family life to the newlyweds and congratulations from the relatives and guests present.
Recommendations
Before getting married, you should definitely clarify whether the main characters of the sacrament - the young people and the witnesses - have been baptized. If not, then you should correct the situation and go through the sacrament of baptism.
Check with the priest whether the witnesses will hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds or whether they are allowed to wear them. If crowns are worn, then the bride must take care of her hair. You should choose a modest hairstyle, without heavy backcombing and decorations, so that the crown can be easily put on and does not spoil the hairstyle.
Don't forget to give the rings to the clergyman in advance so that he has the opportunity to consecrate them.
Remember that one of the main stages of preparation for a wedding is morning communion and confession. Therefore, young people should not eat or drink from 12 o’clock at night. You should also not smoke or drink alcohol.
Make sure you wear comfortable shoes. The ceremony may take a long time, and the bride will hardly be comfortable standing in high heels for an hour.
The witness will have to hold the crown over the bride's head for an hour, or maybe more. It is therefore important that there is not a big difference in the height of the women and that the witness is not too fragile.
Preparing for the ritual
I highly recommend that you first get acquainted with the clergy of the temple and decide on the priest who will perform the ceremony of the sacrament of the wedding. Discuss all the details of the ceremony with him in advance, ask questions that concern you, and inquire about the possibility of photography.
You should sign up for the wedding ceremony in advance, discussing the date and specific time with the priest. In different churches and parishes the number of people wishing to get married is different, so in some places this needs to be done 2 months, and in others 2-3 weeks before the desired date.
Prepare your wedding dress: find out what church norms require for the color and cut of the dress.
Find and purchase in advance the attributes necessary for the wedding ceremony: icons, wedding candles, towel, wedding rings, etc. Also discuss the entire list of necessary accessories with the clergyman in advance.
Required Attributes
On their wedding day, newlyweds will need wedding rings made of silver or gold, wedding icons, a towel and church candles. As for icons, you can purchase them yourself or receive them as a gift from your parents. The images of Jesus Christ and the Blessed Virgin Mary are most often used. It is with these icons that the clergyman will bless the couple during the ceremony.
The candles will be in the hands of the spouses throughout the performance. To avoid getting burned by hot wax, you can use handkerchiefs or napkins. Blessed candles are usually sold in a temple store. After the sacrament, you can take them home to light them there in front of the icons.
A towel is a white cloth, mostly made of linen or cotton. Its edges are decorated with embroidery. You can make this product yourself or buy it in a store.
And one more important point: each spouse must have a cross on his neck during the ceremony.
How to behave in church
There are unspoken canons of behavior in the temple that should not be violated. You should not behave provocatively. Laughter and talking during the ceremony are inappropriate.
Young people need to learn in advance the marriage vows and the words that should be spoken during the ceremony. This will show respect for the clergyman and for God.
The bride must wipe off her lipstick before the service begins. Women should enter the church with their heads covered; skirts and dresses should be below the knee. Excessively bright makeup is also inappropriate.
Folk signs
A church wedding is an ancient ritual. For this reason, various signs have been formed among the people.
There are several superstitions regarding the bride's dress:
- Before arriving at the temple, you should not look at yourself in a wedding dress. It is allowed to look in the mirror while wearing a dress, but without gloves, veil or other attributes. Otherwise, there may not be happiness in the family.
- No one should try on the bride's dress before the ceremony begins.
- If there are buttons on a wedding dress, then their number must be even, otherwise the husband may leave for someone else.
- A pin must be placed on the inside of the groom's dress and shirt. This will protect the newlyweds from the evil eye.
If it starts to rain heavily during the ceremony, then this means a happy and long family life.
Before the ritual, the couple needs to look into the same mirror together. This will ensure a strong family life and good luck.
To prevent the bride from returning to her parents after joining the church union, when she leaves for church, the floors in her house are washed, with the exception of the threshold.
Photo and video shooting
In most churches, recording the sacrament on a video camera or taking photographs is not prohibited, however, in order to avoid getting into an uncomfortable situation, it is better to discuss this point with the priest in advance. The main condition is usually that the operator must behave quietly and not interfere with the ceremony. It is best to turn off the flash; a loud clicking shutter can also create inconvenience; it is recommended to turn it off. You should not disturb the clergyman and stand in places that are inconvenient for him and young people with the desire to take more interesting shots; there will be plenty of angles for shooting.
The church is a sacred place, so it is better to take the main photo session with the guests when leaving it after the ceremony. Here you can already spend the necessary time, without particularly limiting yourself in the angles and arrangement of those present.
