When young people start a family, they definitely want it to be complete and happy, so they look forward to the birth of children and try to give them the best. If we talk about Orthodox families, then here it is mandatory to baptize children, and if young parents are already planning to do this, then they are faced with the question of how to choose the right godparents for their child. Often young parents wonder who can be godparents, who will be a good example for the child, and who should not be taken as a godfather, and this question must be answered so that unnecessary doubts do not arise about this.
Who can and cannot baptize a child
You can take absolutely any person as a godparent, but the main condition is that he be of the Orthodox faith. According to tradition, a girl should have a godmother, a boy should have a godfather, which means that a child can have one godparent, but only of the same gender. But most parents prefer that their child have 2 godparents.
Parents try to choose people younger than themselves as godfathers. This is explained by the fact that in the event of the death of the father and mother, upbringing is entrusted to the shoulders of the godparents. People who become godparents of the same child are considered relatives according to church laws, so they are strictly forbidden to marry.
The following cannot become godparents:
- Not baptized, atheists.
- Those who do not want to fulfill the duties that are assigned to them during the baptismal ceremony.
- Parents of the child.
- Spouses.
- The bride and groom who are going to get married or are cohabiting.
- Stepfather to his stepson.
- People of different faiths.
- People who are recognized as possessed by demons.
- During menstruation, a woman is prohibited from baptizing her child.
It is advisable that the twins have different godparents, since the godfather has to accept the baby from the font, and it is almost impossible to hold two children in his arms at the same time.
Most often, close relatives and people with whom the parents are in close contact are taken as godparents. An important condition is that future godparents must be regular visitors to the church. There is an opinion that you cannot refuse the offer to become godparents, so you can hint to potential godmothers that you would like to entrust such a responsible role to them.
Baptism procedure
Both godparents in the church should be wearing crosses, with the man with his head uncovered, the woman wearing a scarf and a skirt or dress below the knees, in clothes with covered elbows and shoulders. Before the procedure, they pick up the baby and go to church together. At the same time, the parents stand behind and just watch.
You can baptize a child on any day of the week and on any date, even during Lent, Easter and church holidays. But in the latter cases, keep in mind that the priest may be busy, and there will be a lot of people in the church. It is better to choose a calm day, come with pure and kind thoughts. Choose a suitable date and church, discuss the details with the priest.
By the way, it is not necessary to name the child according to the calendar. But at baptism, if the name is not present in the calendar, choose a name that sounds similar in sound, with which the baby will be baptized. In the future, when performing various church rites, the name taken at baptism will be used. This determines the baby’s heavenly patron and the day on which the baby has Angel Day.
At the end, a cross is put on the child, and the relatives and godparents are given a baptismal certificate, which indicates the date of the procedure and Angel Day. The memo for godparents contains the duties that they must fulfill.
Responsibilities of godparents
If you don’t know how to choose godparents for a child, try to listen to yourself. Are you ready to entrust the care of your baby to a stranger? After all, when offering their friends to become godparents of your child, many parents and potential godparents do not think about what they will have to do and what rules to follow.
Some adults who are offered the role of godparents refuse, believing that in this case their main responsibility will be to constantly give gifts to the baby. This is an erroneous opinion, since the main responsibility of godparents is the spiritual education of the child. Godfathers should meet with their godson as often as possible, so you should not choose people who live far from you as godparents.
In order to become a good godparent, it is not necessary to give your child expensive gifts or spend a lot of money on something else. Adults should pay attention to the child, go to church with him, and tell him about the benefits of prayer. Godparents can help the child learn prayers or buy a children's colorful Bible, which they will read with the baby when they come to visit him. Some women refuse the opportunity to baptize a boy if they are undergoing the baptism ceremony for the first time. In fact, there is no pattern in which baby a woman should baptize first.
In some cases, it happens that parents choose godparents without really thinking about what their faith is. As a result, it turns out that the baby was baptized into Orthodoxy, and his godfather is a Muslim. In this case, it turns out that the parents behaved frivolously. In this case, parents have to baptize their baby themselves for the child to accept the faith.
If future godmothers have agreed that they will baptize your baby, the question may arise as to what they will have to give the child for christening. Most often, on this important day, godparents present a cross and a chain as a gift. They can be gold or silver, it all depends on what kind of finances the godfathers have. In the old days, a silver spoon was given at christenings, which was the very first spoon used when feeding the baby.
Sometimes it happens that life paths diverge from godparents, so parents begin to think about baptizing the child again. The Church is against this, since the Sacrament of Baptism occurs for each person only once in his life. As for the godparents in this case, they failed in the mission entrusted to them by God, so you can ask another believer to take on the responsibilities of a godparent.
It is important to choose people who can always be with your child, and not just on holidays. Therefore, take your choice of godparents seriously. It is not necessary to take close relatives for this role, because, in any case, they will always be with your child. It is better to trust those people with whom you have been together since childhood, because they will respect not only you, but also your child.
At what age can you receive the sacrament of baptism?
Baptism is one of the main Christian rites, which marks the spiritual birth of a person. After performing this sacrament, every Christian gains the protection of higher powers - heavenly angels who will protect him from everything bad in life.
Many parents now want to baptize their child in infancy. The Orthodox Church allows the ceremony to be performed only after the baby reaches 40 days after birth. An exception is made only for very sick and weak children.
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All babies must have godparents at baptism. These are those people who voluntarily take upon themselves the obligation to be spiritual mentors and trustees of a newly minted Christian.
The role of godparents is not limited only to the baptismal ceremony itself; they must take care of their godson for the rest of his life - teach him to be a kind, moral and loving Christian, help in difficult moments of life, and give wise advice. If a person’s blood parents for some reason cannot be with him, then his spiritual mentor takes on this responsibility.
Children should not be prohibited from communicating with their godparents
When choosing godparents for your child, it is important to understand that these people will spiritually influence the child and become part of the family. But life is very unpredictable. If a quarrel occurs between adults, then the godson should not stop communicating with the godfather because of this, if he continues to fulfill his direct duties: teaching prayers, taking him to church and introducing him to beauty.
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How modern godparents behave
Need I say that the duties of godparents, which they were given before, are now rarely of interest to anyone? They don't take their children to church, read the Bible to them, or practice godliness. And since the original purpose is not fulfilled, it turns out that godparents do not have any officially established responsibilities. Everyone behaves the way they think is right.
1 They are close friends. My friend, for example, has three godchildren, and she maintains truly warm relationships with all of them. He takes children to cartoon premieres, arranges birthdays, gives gifts, reads books, and takes them to clubs and classes. Parents more often left their eldest godson with her than with their own grandmothers. She truly loves her "children" and truly believes that a godmother should be involved in their lives.
2 They leave forever. But I don’t know my godmother at all. Like half of my friends. There are many reasons for this: adults stopped communicating, someone moved to another city, children of their own appeared and there was no time for strangers, and much more. The result is the same - the godmother disappears, and not at all in order to appear at the right moment with shoes.
3 They don’t come to you. It also happens that godparents and parents are friends, but they hardly communicate with the child. No, they congratulate the child on his birthdays, give gifts, and meet on joint trips and hikes. But they don’t spend time with their godson.
By the way, this often happens when “second parents” didn’t really want to become one.
Prayer for the baptism of a child for godparents
There are three main, ritual appeals to God, which, at the baptism of a girl, are read by the godmother and godfather (at the initiation of a boy). In this ritual, they are basic, so you will have to learn them first:
- "Our Father".
- “Virgin Mother of God, Rejoice!”
- "Symbol of faith".
Examples of prayer for godchildren
Advice. In addition to the above, it is advisable to read the canons to the Mother of God, Guardian Angel and Savior for communion.
After baptism
After the process, the baptismal towel and shirt are stored along with other mementos of the newborn. Since ancient times, a towel has been used when a baby is sick. It is believed that if a child is wrapped in kryzhma, the disease will immediately recede. It is advisable for the baby to wear the cross constantly and not take it off. It is better to put the product on a short thread that will not get tangled.
If a child is raised in Orthodox traditions and an Orthodox family, it is important to accustom the child to the faith from birth. After baptism, you must come to church again for communion. Subsequently, baptized children must receive communion regularly.
According to the recommendations of churches, a child should be given communion once every one to two weeks. At the age of one or two years, the child is already taught about God and the Orthodox faith. You can also teach fasting from an early age, but this should be done gradually and not too harshly.
The Church advises making concessions for children and does not oblige them to follow every instruction.
She reminds us that fasting is not only about diet and dietary restrictions. First of all, this is spiritual cleansing. At this time, it is important and necessary to give up bad thoughts, aggression and bad behavior, you need to do good deeds and help your neighbor. For more information on how children should fast, see the link. Subscribe to our VKontakte group
Is refusal possible?
It is worth understanding that you cannot abandon existing godparents and choose others. However, you can accept the help of another person in matters of religious education of the child, if necessary.
If a person does not have the desire and opportunity to become a godfather, he can always refuse. A spiritual mentor should always be close to the child and show by his own example the model of Christian behavior. If there is no energy and time for this, then a person has the right not to become a godfather.
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Previously, there was no concept of “orphanage”. All children who lost their parents found a family with their godparents.
