According to statistics, Russia ranks second among all countries in the world in the number of suicides. Our state leads in the number of suicides among teenagers and the elderly.
All these people hoped in this way to save themselves from suffering, putting an end to it with one action. Death, from their point of view, was the cessation of intelligent life and the extinction of consciousness. But does non-existence really exist? Where does the soul of a suicide go after death?
In different cultures
In Orthodoxy, suicide is considered the worst sin. It is forbidden to perform funeral services for those who have passed away voluntarily, or to pray for them at liturgies. It’s as if they are being erased from the list of people who have ever existed. This act is condemned in all three world religions: Islam, Judaism and Christianity. People who have committed suicide are often buried separately from everyone else.
However, not all cultures were so categorical. So, in some Eastern cultures, in Rome, this action was an important ritual in society.
For Japanese samurai, hara-kiri was considered a matter of honor, which allowed them to avoid captivity and atone for their own misdeeds. There are cases when permission to commit such a ritual suicide was considered a pardon from the emperor.
In India, elderly people, in order not to be a heavy burden on their families due to their own illnesses and weaknesses, burned themselves. There was a ritual of sati, when wives jumped into the fire at the funeral of their husbands, burning alive in it.
The ancient Celts considered life in old age and weakness shameful. They had separate “ancestral rocks” from which they passed away voluntarily, still having some remnants of strength.
History knows many acts of self-sacrifice in honor of the gods. Usually they were preceded by many years of preparation, study of ideology, so that a person understood why and what he was doing. And this was also encouraged in society.
Among the proud and passionate Roman aristocrats, suicide was considered an act of strong will. Sometimes the best friend of the deceased committed suicide in order to share with him the hardships of afterlife. This act, committed with the aim of not being captured, was positively accepted.
Therefore, there is no unanimity on this issue. But today, when three world religions dominate, suicide is considered a sinful act.
Is it possible to deceive a priest?
You can hide the truth from the priest and have a funeral service for the suicide in the temple. In such cases, the clergy say: “You can’t deceive God!” . Therefore, consider whether such a ritual will bring comfort to you and those present at the funeral.
If you believe that special circumstances led to the death of a loved one, then share your thoughts with the priest.
He will carefully consider your problems and suggest the right solution. After all, it often happens that suicide is just one of the versions and one of the interpretations of what happened.
Our ancestors
The Slavic people left to their descendants a lot of information about what happens to the soul of a suicide after leaving the next world. This is described in detail in his myths. The ancient Slavs believed that the soul of a suicide after death becomes a ghost and wanders the earth for centuries. Usually she is located at the place where she committed the sin, emitting cries and whistles, luring lost passers-by with evil intentions. For this reason, our ancestors cut down trees for centuries, covering their tracks where the soul of a suicide found refuge. And they were buried in a special way, away from everyone.
The soul of a suicidal person was considered an evil spirit. The ancient people believed that because of his death, the weather changed on the same day, the winds suddenly rose, and hail fell. On full moons, the soul of a suicide appeared in cemeteries and anomalous zones, causing animal horror in everyone he met.
The body of the deceased in this way was subjected to a special ritual over it. Nails were driven into the mouth, and a stake was driven into the heart; it was mutilated, sprinkled with sacred herbs. All this was done so that the soul of the suicide after death could not return to the body and the dead man would not rise from the grave. That way he wouldn't be able to cause any harm by turning into a vampire. It was believed that the soul of the suicide lived in terrible torment that lasted for centuries.
Psychological research
After communicating with people who were saved from suicide, or their attempt was unsuccessful, psychologists claim that 99% of people in the last minutes of their lives realize that they have committed a stupid act and do not want to die (for example, those who hang themselves begin look for a chair with your feet). But for some reason they are no longer able to prevent the inevitable. The torment they are experiencing in these moments cannot be compared with anything. A sea of energy and adrenaline is released. All the moments of life fly before their eyes, they don’t just see, they feel memories of the first experience of a kiss, sex, a gift, a fall, a broken leg, about everything that awakened emotions in them. It delays the soul. She does not leave the place where a person died in this way. There is a theory that due to the excessive amount of emotions that arose at that moment, the release of adrenaline and energy, she remains in the place where it happened.
In other words, this is how the creation of an “anchor” occurs, which detains the soul. Since it left the physical shell, and the person changed his mind in the last minutes, a circle is closed due to this synthesis of energy. This outlines this “hell on earth”, where the soul of a suicide ends up. Here she relives her terrible death over and over again every day. This happens to most people who commit suicide. It is unknown where the souls of suicides who remained faithful to their decision to the end end up. Only the gods can know about this.
Why is suicide condemned?
It is believed that in the other world, which we will all one day find ourselves in, there will not be the oblivion that a person committing suicide hopes for.
There the life of the mind continues in accordance with the karma of life on earth, the consequences of actions on it. A person burdened with mental burden will continue to suffer due to unresolved difficulties. She will only feel the pain of her situation more acutely. However, she will no longer have a chance for correction; he will remain in earthly life. The soul of a suicide will only experience a painful emotional reaction to the pictures that appear before it, full of the dramatic events of his life. This is what the lines from the Gospel say: “Whatever you untie on Earth will be untied in heaven.”
You can correct anything only in your physical embodiment. If a person leaves this world of his own free will, unresolved situations will haunt him with redoubled force, and hallucinatory memories will haunt him, being experienced like real events.
Suicide violates the most important karmic law - about the purpose of human life and its timing. The fact is that everyone comes into this world with a specific mission, which concerns personal growth. If a person’s spirit is talented and great, it will touch many others. Even before the beginning of its life in the physical shell, the soul understands what its task is. Entering the body, due to physical matters, this knowledge is obscured, the purpose is forgotten.
To complete a personal task, you are always given a certain period of life on earth, a certain amount of energy necessary for this.
If someone passes away before these dates, the purpose remains unfulfilled.
The energy allocated for this task is not realized, which begins to pull the soul of the suicide towards the physical world for many years to come.
Suicide of loved ones: what can we do?
Behind the foreign word “suicide” lies a tragedy from which not a single person is immune. After all, even in ourselves we cannot always be so confident that we can guarantee that in a moment of despondency we will not be tempted to forget about God and His good providence. But suicide is not only the sin of a person who decided to despise God’s help and say goodbye to life on his own, it is also a tragedy for the relatives and friends of this person.
What about those who were somehow affected by this misfortune, whose loved one, relative or friend passed away in the most unnatural way?
First of all, you need to overcome despair in your soul. Grief, sorrow, crying - all this is natural in this situation, but not despair. Your loved one has already fallen into the abyss called despair; one victim is enough. Even for a suicide, not all is lost, and for those who remain, albeit alone, but alive, there is always room for active action.
I say “all is not lost” because, firstly, it is far from a fact that a person has not repented of his actions. Sometimes repentance comes at the last split second, when it’s too late to stop. There are cases when surviving suicides say that their last thought was regret about what they had done and a desire to change everything. It cannot be said that your loved one did not repent, he simply could not do anything to save his life. But even if in a particular case it happened differently, it is unknown what happened next. With death, the human soul passes into a different state. On the one hand, the absence of a body imposes restrictions on the soul; without the main tool for controlling the soul, we become inert, incapable of instant changes. But, on the other hand, the veil of “leather vestments” is removed and the world is revealed to the soul as it is, not one-sided and carnal, but full-fledged, the soul realizes the true price of everything. This means that those who have passed away from earthly life are more aware of the tragedy of what happened than we are. And here he needs our active help.
Yes, there is no funeral service for suicides. There are two reasons for this. Firstly, and this is fundamentally important, the Church refuses funeral services for suicides for the reason that by this refusal it tries to stop those still alive who allow themselves the possibility of suicide. Even if it seems cruel, for the sake of the salvation of many other souls the Church uses such a disciplinary measure. This can be seen in a large family. Sometimes parents see that a misbehaving child needs more pity and compassion than punishment, but to feel sorry for a naughty child means to condone his misdeed in the eyes of his brothers and sisters. The church is a very big family...
The second reason is that the modern rite of funeral service is completely inapplicable for those who died in a break with the Church. Repeatedly in prayers the deceased is called “who died in faith” and even “who died faithfully.” Based on this, strictly speaking, it is impossible to perform a funeral service even for those who at the time of death lived unchurchedly, not to mention those who themselves rejected God, deciding to manage their lives without Him. But denial of church-wide prayer is not the final sentence for a person. What remains is home, personal prayer for such a person, and this prayer falls entirely on the shoulders of those who are in one way or another close to the suicide.
There was a time in my life when a friend of mine passed away. He couldn’t be called an unbeliever, nor could he be called a churchgoer. And then Radonitsa came, I went around the parish cemetery, serving funeral litias. I approach the grave of a suicide friend, and dozens of eyes drill into the back of my head - what will the priest do? Will he pass by, pretending to have forgotten the person, or will he break the rules and serve litia? I took off my vestments, gave the censer to the sexton and said the words of the prayer of St. Leo of Optina: “Seek, O Lord, the lost soul of Thy servant (name): if it is possible, have mercy. Your destinies are unsearchable. Do not make this my prayer a sin, but Thy holy will be done.” The clergyman's prayer, performed as a private person, had a positive effect, and this was later spoken of as a good-natured act. Although the negative attitude towards suicide itself has been ambiguously demonstrated.
So you, the surviving relatives, need to be diligent in prayer for the soul of the deceased. Let grief, sadness, and the pain of loss develop into an active feeling of compassion, then prayer for the untimely deceased will become an important part of your life and can help in changing the afterlife fate of the suicide. The fact that prayer for the dead is extremely important is evidenced by the fact that St. Seraphim of Sarov asked all his spiritual loved ones to pray for the repose of his parents. The Rev.’s parents were Christians of righteous life, but even they needed prayer support after the grave. What can we say about our case?
In addition to prayer, as the holy fathers teach us, alms for the deceased is of great importance. St. Sergius of Radonezh, after the death of his parents, distributed their property as alms for their souls. So we should give to those in need, praying that the Lord would accept this alms as suicide, asking for the prayer of those to whom we gave. Almsgiving, of course, should not be limited to money; it is much more important to help the needy with exactly what he needs.
And so we devote a lot of time to prayer for the untimely departed from earthly life, we give alms in memory of him, what else can we do? If our life changes after the tragedy, if this, the most terrible evil, serves to make us think seriously about our souls, begin to live a full Christian life, as they say now, go to church, then this will serve as the greatest incentive to change the posthumous fate of a suicide .
The tragedy that occurred should sober up those close to the suicide. We must understand that we ourselves, if we live outside of God, are spiritual dead. There must be a change in our consciousness, the whole seriousness of our situation has appeared before us, and if we simply close our eyes to this and continue our spiritually carefree life, then we will not only not help the deceased, not only will we harm ourselves, but we will also provoke the possibility of suicide in the future in your surroundings. It is easy to turn away from the terrible reality that appears before our eyes. It’s difficult to live with such a deceived conscience. Therefore, the churching of loved ones of a suicide is threefold important. You need to start going to church regularly, be diligent in prayer at home, and devote part of your daily time to reading the Gospel and spiritual literature.
And the last thing I would like to say. Your loved one is not the only person who has approached and crossed the fatal line. There are still thousands of those who now stand on this terrible threshold of life and death. It is your duty of love to help them. Find words of support and consolation for someone who is thinking about this terrible act, help with the means that you have: time for conversation, active help, maybe even financially, because this is the alms that was mentioned earlier. And your help is also needed by the loved ones of those who have already passed away as a result of suicide. If you were able to at least partially overcome the severity of a painful loss, then others have not yet been able to overcome it. Help someone who is suffering inconsolably, share with him a piece of your spiritual warmth.
Yes, life after the terrible tragedy of suicide does not end either for the suicide itself or for his relatives. And a lot can still be improved. Therefore, we will not fall into despair; on the contrary, we will do everything possible to make amends for the consequences of such a terrible act. The Lord will help us in this difficult field.
28 Jul 2012 | Archpriest Andrey Efanov
Research by scientists
A scientist from St. Petersburg, K. Korotkov, was actively involved in research into what happens to the soul of a suicide. He studied this phenomenon using Kirlian effects, which made it possible to see a person’s energy immediately after death and for several days after.
According to his findings, the post-mortem state of those who died naturally was very different from the energy of suicides. For example, he established three different types of glow of the bodies of people who died for different reasons. It was recorded using the Kirlian method.
For those who died naturally, the glow had a small amplitude of energy fluctuations. In the first few hours after her death, she gradually fell.
In the second type of glow, which formed during sudden death as a result of accidents, the fluctuations were also not large, but there was one bright peak.
The third type was observed in those who died as a result of a circumstance that could have been prevented. There, the glow was characterized by very large energy fluctuations that lasted a very long time. The same thing happened in case of death that was provoked.
According to the scientist, these fluctuations reflected the state of the astral body, which was deprived of its physical embodiment as a result of violence, after which it did not have a chance to naturally exist in another world. That is, the soul of a suicide goes to another world and continues to rush between the body and the astral plane, trying to find a way out.
Hellish voices
There is another creepy moment that relates to the astral world. Many people who tried to commit suicide and were saved by specialists stated that they were informed about the decision to die by some voices in which they allegedly recognized their deceased relatives.
This phenomenon acts as an indirect and sometimes direct cause of suicide extremely often.
These mysterious voices that sit in the human consciousness have nothing in common with people who have passed away.
This is a certain class of creatures called elementals by the greatest medieval physician Paracelsus. They can be positive and negative. The latter seek to capture people’s vital energy, preferring theft to self-production. When a person dies, he releases a large amount of energy, which serves as food for these astral vampires. Therefore, the elementals cling to people who are in prolonged depression and process them, leading them to settle accounts with life.
Such eerie connections are often discovered by psychics in the auras of other people. They call them "binds" or "plugs". Sometimes potential suicides are processed on more subtle, subconscious levels. Then they are not voices, but extremely depressive thoughts with self-destruction programs. These imposed thoughts over time, under the pressure of numerous attacks, are accepted by people as their desire.
Voices of demons
There is information according to which many people pass away at the behest of voices from another world. People who tried to commit suicide often talk about this. After they were rescued, they claim that they recognized the voices of deceased relatives in the sounds. This phenomenon often becomes a cause of suicide. Naturally, the voices are not associated with loved ones. In this way, consciousness is influenced by creatures that in the Middle Ages were called elementals. They are divided into two groups:
- friendly;
- the bad ones are those who try to use someone else’s energy, stealing it.
When a person dies, a large amount of energy is released. The elementals hunt her. People who are depressed can become their victims. Alien material vampires attach themselves to their aura and provoke them to take a fatal step. Such channels of communication with the astral world can be seen by psychics.
Often influence on a person is carried out at an unconscious level. A person is incited to suicide not by voices, but by obsessive thoughts. They are perceived as their own. In this case, the victim needs to show aristocratic spirit. It lies in the ability to withstand the trials that befall a person, and not in the desire to avoid suffering.
Captivity
It is believed that with the death of a person, his spirit begins to undergo ordeals for 40 days. These are difficult trials for him, and this time is considered tragic. He does not understand what will await him next.
First, he spent six days in paradise, staying there with the righteous and blessed people, then for the rest of the period he went to hell, where he was responsible for his sins. But during this period he can repent of them and receive forgiveness.
The soul of a suicide after 40 days does not get such a chance. Due to unspent energy, she remains in the lower layers of the other world. Even being a righteous person, a person does not avoid the fate of going to hell.
If he was allotted 70 years, and he lived only 25, then for the remaining 45 years he will be in the lower astral layers, where the soul immediately falls after the death of a suicide. She rushes there for a long time in painful anticipation.
Since ancient times, suicides have been considered ghosts. Voluntary departure from life is also unacceptable according to clairvoyants. Many of them instantly understand from photographs whether a person is alive or not. However, about those who have committed suicide, they say that they do not exist both in the world of the living and in the world of the dead. Saved people who experienced clinical death as a result of taking their own lives also spoke about what happens to the soul of a suicide after death. Usually this moment is very strongly imprinted on the psyche.
Even a fleeting glance at the other world, revealed to a person in those moments, provides a lot of information about where the soul of suicides goes. The studies of the posthumous world conducted by Dr. Raymond Moody together with other scientists are known throughout the world.
One of his patients, who was miraculously saved after a suicide attempt and survived after emerging from a coma, said the following. Once there, he clearly felt that two actions were prohibited: killing himself and killing others. A woman who was sedated after taking a lethal dose of sleeping pills said she felt she had done something wrong according to the highest commandment. She was sure of this and desperately tried to return to her body in order to survive.
This panic was completely different from what those who died naturally but managed to pull out (for example, due to illness) felt. They described calmness and a feeling that everything was as it should be.
What not to do:
– Condemn and criticize for attempting suicide. Remember: the person committed it out of severe mental pain and a feeling of hopelessness; he did not find another way out. Criticism will only intensify these feelings.
– Play on feelings of guilt . You can’t play on feelings of guilt: how could you, you didn’t think about your neighbors, you only thought about yourself, you’re an egoist. There is no place to blame. The feeling of guilt has never motivated anyone to live, but it has driven them into a loop more than once.
– Devaluate the feelings and problems of a failed suicide . This is often the “sin” of parents of rescued teenagers: they tell them that all your problems are not worth a damn. It seems to them that they are encouraging their child, but in fact the child only feels more acutely that no one understands him and no one is interested in his experiences. This will only strengthen the teenager's mind that he needs to try again.
- Intimidate . There is no need to threaten a failed suicide with hell for his attempt, or describe the endless torment that will come. He’s already feeling bad, he needs support and kindness, not prosecutorial speeches. A reminder that suicide is a mortal sin is suitable for suicide prevention if it is known that the person is a believer. This really holds a lot of people back. But after a suicide attempt, this cannot be done, otherwise the person will feel completely doomed, and if so, what is the point of living?
– Avoid talking about suicide . You can’t pretend that nothing happened, you can’t communicate with a failed suicide with false cheerfulness, as if you came to the hospital to see a person who just had an operation to remove appendicitis. The failed suicide again feels that they don’t want to talk to him about the most important things. And he is forced to withdraw into himself and internally digest what happened, which can increase the feeling of hopelessness.
Edwin Shneidman on the soul of a suicide
This is one of the most famous researchers of everything related to suicide. Shneidman’s book “The Soul of a Suicide” is popular all over the world. In it, he makes an attempt to understand what motivates those who decided to commit suicide. He identified 10 characteristics that all suicides possess in 95% of cases. So, one of the main features is mental pain. These people experience constant suffering and anxiety. It is she who serves as the driving force when making the last decision in life. Pain is the source of thoughts of suicide. This action is a unique human reaction to mental torment.
This is difficult to study, since no amount of analysis of brain cells with all kinds of instruments will help to form an opinion about what is actually happening in the soul.
Shneidman notes that even those who suffer greatly when they are diagnosed with a fatal disease commit suicide not because of physical, but mental torment caused by extreme anxiety. They are intangible and cannot be measured. However, one thing is clear: they are unbearable. Thoughts about committing suicide arise at a moment when pain becomes impossible to bear, and people strive to die just to stop this awareness of pain.
A serious tragedy occurring deep inside results in suicide. It is interesting that those who were in the middle class in terms of material wealth, who were ordinary consumers, and worthy members of society, often end their lives in this way. Only a small percentage is added to their number by the insane.
This study once again refutes the opinion that most often a person voluntarily dies due to poverty and lack of material values. Most suicides are among those in the prime of life, the most cheerful representatives of the human race.
As for child deaths, 70% of child suicides came from wealthy families.
How to help the soul of a person who committed suicide
Is it possible to help the soul of a suicide? Seraphim of Sarov described a case from his practice. Once a family approached him, in which one of the members committed suicide by drowning in the river. His relatives, who were experiencing terrible torment, could not mention him in their prayers.
But suddenly the holy elder answered them that their father was not a suicide. Sarovsky received a vision from God that at the moment when their loved one was falling down, he turned to God and received forgiveness. Prayers in churches for those who have passed away are voluntarily prohibited, but those who want to help them can mention them in cell prayers performed at home. They can save those who have sinned so much.
Elder Joseph the Hesychast called for praying the rosary. He talked about a woman he knew who died by suicide. He began to pray the rosary for her, and one night she came to him in his dreams and thanked him for it. She said that this was a wonderful moment for her, and thanks to his efforts, she was going to where she would live forever. She was saved from eternal suffering thanks to his prayers, although she lived unrighteously.
Contact
It is believed that spirits from other worlds can be contacted. In particular, you can talk to the soul of a suicide. This should be done with the help of images. You won’t be able to address her with a word or a question, but you can broadcast them through figurative thinking. Then she will respond to the call and also send a response in the form of an image that will appear in a dream.
To transmit a message to the deceased, it must be encrypted, and to receive it, it must be decrypted. You should not use dream books or dream interpreters, in this case they will not help in any way, since they decipher the symbols, but the images will need to be interpreted. They are compiled individually.
First, you need to have an idea of imaginative thinking and how it works in a person. If it is absent, which is extremely rare, then a person will not be able to send messages to another world. In any case, he will see the answer in a dream, but will not be able to interpret it correctly.
It is best to understand how imaginative thinking works using this example.
One interlocutor negotiates with the other to meet near a store familiar to both, next to which there is a bus stop. A person with dominant logical thinking will begin to ask which side to approach the store where the bus stops. And those who have developed imaginative thinking will draw this picture in their head and easily find this place on their own, without asking any more questions.
The following example is suitable for illustration. It is enough to tell someone in the household that the book is on the table. If he does not have imaginative thinking, he will ask where exactly it lies - on the right side or the left. This will be very important for him, since he relies on logic, he needs to understand exactly where the object is. This happens in all areas of life. Anyone who is able to work with images will understand from the first time that they need to look for the book on the table. It is extremely difficult to encourage logicians to think figuratively. Before talking to the soul of a suicide at home, you need to take this into account in order to create image codes for such people correctly.
The encrypted question is transmitted to the soul using a mental connection. The answer from the place where the soul of the suicide went will come in night dreams and can be deciphered using a code of images. He is always individual.
To choose the right code and ask questions to someone in another world, you only need to contact a loved one. You need to have knowledge about his character, way of thinking, physical appearance.
If a connection is planned with one of the great souls, then you need to stock up on knowledge about his habits, biography, and tune in to his wavelength by viewing his photos or portraits.
You need to fully concentrate on this person, otherwise the message will get to someone else, and the answer will seem incomprehensible. There have already been 100 billion people on Earth, and there is a possibility.
To send a message to the other world, you need to prepare in advance. It is important to bring your body into a suitable state. First of all, you need to give up smoking, alcohol, and drugs for a day, otherwise the information will be distorted. Also, you should not do this while experiencing any pain.
To get the right message while you sleep, you need to adjust your behavior during the day. For a day you need to give up TV, movies, loud music, swearing, and communication with the opposite sex. The best solution would be to give up heavy dinners, tea and coffee. All this affects the quality of message transmission. It's better to relax before bed by taking a walk outside. Any event that affects the emotional background during the day will certainly leave an imprint on dreams, and the data will be distorted.
If a person does not remember his own dreams and cannot retell them, then it hardly makes sense to get involved with another world. It is best to choose sincere people for this.
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For the past two months, the press has been reporting teenage suicides almost daily. Children take their own lives in Moscow, St. Petersburg, Chelyabinsk, Tula, Irkutsk... According to official statistics, every year 16 teenagers out of every 100 thousand kill themselves. These figures are almost three times higher than the global average. Two years ago, against the backdrop of another wave of child suicides, federal authorities promised to develop a state program for suicide prevention. However, there is no progress. Meanwhile, experts cautiously predict that the sad statistics may go up in the coming years. The economic crisis and social instability are fertile ground for “emigration” to the next world.
“We celebrated someone’s birthday in a group at the dacha. My boyfriend spent the entire evening whispering to someone else. Everyone went to bed. And something came over me. I found a rope. She climbed onto the chair. When I started to choke, I got scared and wanted to get down. But the tugging kept the noose tightening and tightening. I couldn't even scream anymore. She just wheezed. She started kicking the furniture with her feet so they could hear. But everyone was too drunk. And then I passed out..."
17-year-old Irina P. tried to commit suicide two years ago. The young man woke up from the noise, cut the rope, and woke up the others. They didn’t call an ambulance - they did it on their own.
“Did you really intend to die then or did you just want to teach your friend a lesson?”
- At that moment, actually. I had thought about the meaning of life before. About what a nonentity I am, a loser, no one needs me. Even mothers. She told me that she didn’t want to give birth to me and was going to have an abortion. Father is always at work. The main thing for him is that he has dinner at home. One day I stayed out late. I come, and he seems to have broken free. I thought it was because I broke the curfew. But it turns out because they didn’t do anything to eat. My character was still the same. She always walked gloomily. Everyone around me thought that I was just whining about how bad everything was, it was better to die. But it’s one thing to talk, and another to do. When you're hanging in the air and losing consciousness, you suddenly realize that you haven't had time to do much yet. You start to die and suddenly you realize that you really really want to live. Death is the end of everything. Friends will groan and forget. Well, maybe those who are especially impressionable will come to the cemetery once or twice. The sun will still shine, the sky will turn blue, but you won’t see it anymore.
Irina’s parents still don’t know anything. She also tries not to communicate with the witnesses of that story anymore.
- Do you know what is most unbearable? These are the pitying glances of others. Moreover, pity is mixed with disgust. You start to feel crazy.
Now the girl travels to virtual “suicide” clubs, tells her story and tries to pull former like-minded people out of the shadows.
“I tell them that even if no one loves you, you can learn to love yourself. Stay and live. To spite everyone.
Last year, the Investigative Committee of Russia registered 461 suicides among minors. The Federal Medical Research Center for Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine named after Serbsky says that 10-14 years old is the most dangerous age for suicide. “At this time, a teenager is going through an age crisis,” explains Boris Polozhy, head of the department of environmental and social problems of mental health at the Serbsky Center. — The child hatches into an adult. All this is accompanied by self-examination, dissatisfaction with oneself and others, and a search for answers to the eternal questions “Who am I?” What can I do? In addition, most young people romanticize death. For them it is simply a different way of existing. But modern parents are busy making money and have forgotten how to listen to their children and talk to them. Communication is often built either on the principles of authoritarianism according to the boss-subordinate system, or the child is simply not noticed - he grows like a weed. And he has no one to consult about problems with. There is a third option, when adults place the child on the throne. Whatever the teenager does is fine and wonderful.”
Photo: Vladimir Smirnov / TASS
Doctors state that if since 2002 the number of adult suicides in Russia has been gradually decreasing (from 10th place in the world ranking of countries with the highest suicide rate, we have moved to 14th), then there are no positive trends in adolescents. For every 100 thousand children 10-14 years old there are 2.5 suicides, among adolescents 15-19 years old - 16.3. The world average is almost three times less. The geography of voluntary mortality has also taken shape.
“We are the only country where differences in the frequency of suicides in regions reach tens of times,” continues Boris Polozhy. “There is nothing like this anywhere else in the world.” In the republics of the North Caucasus there are three to four cases per 100 thousand population, and in a number of regions of Siberia and the Far East - up to 80-70 suicides per 100 thousand.”
- Why is there such a difference?
- Many components. There is also a geographical factor. A harsh climate affects a person’s psychological state. The socio-economic situation of the region, unemployment, low standard of living, and collapsed healthcare play a big role. The cultural characteristics of peoples and their attitude towards death play a role. This all took shape over the centuries. The greatest tendency to suicide is observed among the indigenous population of Udmurtia, Komi, and Mari El. The northern peoples still have strong pagan roots. Buddhism is widespread in Buryatia and Tuva. Buddhists believe in life after death in a different way. According to opinion polls, in these regions suicide is most often perceived not as a sin, but as an act worthy of respect.
A regular on the “Ward Number Six” website, 15-year-old Irkutsk resident Sveta, admitted that two weeks ago she tried poisoning herself with pills. “I managed to eat about three diphenhydramines, and then I got scared,” says the girl. “And the mother entered the room at the wrong time.” True, she did not understand what exactly was the matter. I thought it was all drugs. I called an ambulance to check my blood pressure and pupils. She was itching to the doctors about what a bad daughter I was, that I was a disgrace, crap, and how the earth was carrying me in general. And then I realized how much I hate her!”
-Have you tried just talking to her?
“Only on her mind is whether I did my homework, whether I cleaned the room.” I tried to ask to transfer me to another school, because the teacher at this one didn’t like me and constantly makes me look like a laughing stock. I’ll answer correctly: “Well, it’s probably going to snow today.” Incorrect: “Do you have any brains? Haven’t you skipped everything yet?” And the whole class grins so disgustingly. And the mother has two versions: I’m making it all up, and it’s her own fault. I even honestly warned that we would take pills. And she said that if I want to become disabled, please.
Photo: Kirill Kallinikov / RIA Novosti
Scientists divide suicides into three main groups: hidden (thirst for risk, self-harm), true and demonstrative. True suicide is rarely spontaneous. Such cases are less than six percent. Almost all teenagers, before deciding to take an extreme step, desperately signal: “Stop me!” Usually the solution takes from several days to months and even years. But often those around you don’t notice the symptoms. The first sign of suicidal mood is the loss of the ability to experience positive emotions. I used to study music, but it became uninteresting. I went to discos and got tired of it. Some people stop taking care of themselves. The circle of contacts is narrowing. Some directly state: “If you don’t buy an iPad, I’ll hang myself.” Parents usually perceive such threats as banal blackmail.
“There is a widespread myth that if a person talks about suicide, he will not harm himself,” explains Boris Polozhy. “Even a demonstrative attempt, when a person really only intends to scare, can be dangerous: he didn’t tighten his scarf correctly, he didn’t calculate the dose of sleeping pills. One of the commandments of suicidology says: any statements about the desire to commit suicide must be treated with extreme caution. And, only after understanding it, classify it. It is better to be mistaken 100 times in the direction that it is serious than to underestimate and let the child die. Some time ago in Moscow we dealt with a tragic incident. Imagine a strong-willed mother who is not used to being contradicted. And a rebellious teenage daughter of about 16. In the wake of another emotional scandal, when her parent did not let her go somewhere, the girl shouted: “If you treat me like this, then I’ll throw myself out of the window. The woman, considering the threat to be manipulation and deciding that such things must be stopped at the root, opened the window herself: “Forward!” The child jumped. We must learn patience. You cannot deal with a teenager from a position of strength; you must be able to negotiate.
- But a child can actually form a “habit” of blackmailing with death. What should I do?
“If this happens, it indicates there is a problem.” Possibly of a medical nature. The teenager wants to attract attention. This behavior is not the norm. It’s not a runny nose that can be treated with home remedies. After the first case, you need to immediately run to the doctor so that he can make recommendations. To begin with, you can contact a teenage psychologist, who will then, if necessary, refer you to a psychiatrist. But look for trusted specialists, and not on the recommendation of a neighbor. If you don’t know such people, go to government clinics. The market for psychotherapeutic services is saturated with a large number of “non-specialists” who, by hook or by crook, have obtained licenses. They won’t be able to help, and they can easily make the situation worse.
— Many people are sure that if a person has a tendency towards self-destruction, then he cannot be saved?
“From conversations with survivors, we know for sure that until the last second there is a struggle between life and death. And if you find the right words, even just a distraction, it helps relieve the impulse. There really is a certain predisposition to suicide. A whole complex of factors plays a role: heredity, genetics, character traits. If there have been cases of suicide or psychiatric illness in the family, the risk increases. Various kinds of stress, quarrels, love experiences are often not the main reason, but only a trigger, a reason. But these factors begin to turn on only under certain conditions. For example, in the absence of mutual understanding in the family, social isolation. In a favorable environment, a person can live up to 90 years, die in his own bed from old age and not even know what fate has in store for him.
13-year-old Muscovite Olga P. arms herself with a straight razor once or twice a week and cuts her hands at night.
“I don’t touch the veins,” she says. - Just small cuts.
- For what? - I’m horrified.
“Physical pain helps you survive mental pain,” she drums out standard phrases. “It was scary at first, but now I’m getting used to the idea that if I’m gone, everyone will be better off.” Nobody needs me. My best friend betrayed me, traded me for cooler friends. And now he's discussing me behind my back. For mom, the main thing is good grades. When it's a C, she screams that I'm a terrible, unscrupulous creature.
— Don’t your parents notice the cuts?
— When I washed the dishes, I burned myself. The mother simply asked: “Are you sick? Should I send you for treatment?” The father yelled: “Why are you so light? Well, go, take a razor, cut yourself to hell.” They didn’t even bother to find out why I was cutting myself and what would happen next.
In 1974, American sociologist David Phillips examined the wave of suicides in Europe at the end of the 18th century, provoked by Goethe's novel The Sorrows of Young Werther. The scientist proved that others are influenced not so much by the fact of suicide itself, but by the message about it. If the publicity is too wide, a wave of “copycats” appears. Psychiatrists, however, believe that the problem cannot be hushed up. It's becoming too global.
If previously the media played a dominant role in the spread of “epidemics” of death, now teenagers get almost all their information from social networks. The search box on VKontakte for the query “suicide, depression” shoots out dozens of “profile” pages. Each has from three to several thousand participants. Many people post pictures of unhappy angels flying up to heaven. There are chats with discussions about life and death.
Psychiatrists believe that most of these virtual clubs are dangerous and destructive. Even if the resource is advertised as a virtual helpline, it is very rare that there is a trained volunteer on the other end of the “line” who can help. Teenagers, who sometimes drop in just to show off and cry, “get infected” and provoke each other to take decisive action. Sometimes they find companions for the last step. Collective suicides, which are not uncommon lately, are a consequence of precisely this “induction.”
Photo: Yuri Martyanov / Kommersant
Several years ago, in one of the Siberian cities, a 17-year-old boy and girl, who had checked into the hotel an hour earlier, jumped out of a hotel window. The investigation showed that the young people practically did not know each other and lived in different parts of the country. But before the face-to-face meeting, we communicated for several months on one of the special portals, where we drew up a detailed action plan.
On the Livejornal page of the group “World of Suicide” there is still a post by Irina with the nickname Shards of the Soul: “I need to find some effective, but at the same time not painful way. And it is also desirable that the corpse after all this looks more or less decent. I want to hold my death in my hands. I want to feel her presence all the time. I need to get used to it and get over my fear of it. Can anyone recommend anything? It is desirable that it is not difficult to get. And also, I would like to know the specific dosages.”
And then the users casually, like sausages, discuss the advantages and disadvantages of various “care” methods. A year later, a note left by her friend appeared in the girl’s personal journal: “Ira is no more.”
Rospotrebnadzor, in accordance with the law on protecting children from negative information, which came into force in 2012, conscientiously blocks harmful content. As stated in the department's report, over the past two years, 4,872 virtual resources that described methods of suicide have been neutralized. True, opponents criticize officials that instead of one closed resource, several new resources are immediately born.
On Wiki’s page on the social network VKontakte the status is “Suicidal people are angels who just want to go home.” As an avatar - a photo of a girl wandering in thick fog. Vika is an active participant in the “Death of Teenagers” forum. “I may be 15 years old, but I understand a lot and I’m disappointed,” she says about herself. — There are swear words, beatings, violence, money, lies, betrayal all around. Love and happiness are only in films and books. My parents tell me: “Be still a child,” but how? I won’t be able to believe in Santa Claus if I’ve already seen some guy pulling on his beard and complaining about his job. I'm scared to live further, realizing that it will only get worse. I smile, but it hurts. Because I don’t fit into reality.”
Experts insist that the main problem with suicide is the lack of government support to address these issues. “We have been struggling for 15 years now with the need to create a unified system of suicidological assistance in Russia, including such an important link in its structure as children and adolescents,” notes Professor Polozhy. — A number of states that have traditionally had a high rate of suicide: Finland, Sweden, Germany, have developed their own national programs. They include training and education of the population, teachers, the army, specialists working with children, and primary care doctors. The results are impressive. Now these countries are not even in the top ten in terms of suicide rates. With us, everything ends with just conversations.”
So far, also at the level of intentions, an agreement has been reached between the Serbian Center and the Ministry of Education and Science to include psychology lessons in the school curriculum from 2nd to 11th grade. Doctors believe that this will teach children mental hygiene: the ability to distinguish between what is important and what is not; see the good; communicate with adults and peers (many people don’t know how to do this now), be tolerant of your own and others’ shortcomings. However, it is unknown when this plan will come to life. At a minimum, the course program still needs to be developed, as well as teachers trained.
Photo: Denis Gukov / RIA Novosti
According to the head of the department of criminal psychology of the faculty of legal psychology of the Moscow City Psychological and Pedagogical University, Sergei Enikolopov, no government programs will make people fall in love with life. The main thing needed for this is a stable social environment.
— In the Soviet Union and other countries, when the suicide curve was falling, experts noted that there was a sense of social optimism in society. The people believed that tomorrow would be better than yesterday. It's not just suicide that's contagious. Happiness and joy are also perfectly transmitted to each other. And when everyone around them insists that everything is bad, and that horror lies ahead of us, teenagers lose faith in the future. They are not idiots, and they clearly understand that they are unlikely to be able to do what they would like. People would like to get a higher education, but in reality they understand that they will be sellers and waiters. That is, for a huge number of young people who want to realize themselves, the future is not very bright.
— Many schools today employ psychologists, how effective are they?
— In most institutions they are simply registered. In order for them to do something, it is necessary that at least one of them seek methodological help. If this does not happen, it means that either they are armed with something home-made, or they are doing nothing. The second is more likely.
- Where is the exit?
— Change social policy. Promote a healthy lifestyle, engage children in clubs and sports sections. It sounds corny, but it works. And when we transfer everything to a paid basis, we get what is happening now. Although we don’t even know what exactly is happening. All scientific programs on this topic have been discontinued. The last major study on teen suicide in the country was conducted in 2012. It's already outdated. And we must understand that the country was living outside the crisis at that time. And now it is starting to be felt. This probably threatens a new wave of suicides. You can prepare for this. If only there was political will. But she's not there yet.
On September 5 in Kazan, a 16-year-old schoolgirl stepped from the roof of a 10-story building.
On September 7 in Moscow, a 16-year-old girl jumped from the ninth floor of a residential building.
On September 6, in the village of Novoselenginsk in the Republic of Buryatia, the bodies of two ninth-graders with signs of suicide were found in an abandoned house.
On September 9, a 15-year-old boy was found hanged in the Mongun-Taiginsky district of Tuva.
On October 5 in Moscow, a 13-year-old eighth-grader jumped from the roof of a house.
On October 19, a tenth grader from Naberezhnye Chelny jumped from the ninth floor.
On October 20, in Omsk, parents found their eight-year-old son hanged at home.
On October 22 in Moscow, a 14-year-old girl swallowed pills.
On October 30, a 15-year-old girl hanged herself in Smolensk.
On November 2, in the village of Kommunarka in New Moscow, a 14-year-old girl jumped out of an 11th floor window.
On November 5, in the Chelyabinsk region in the village of Petropalovka, a 15-year-old boy shot himself in the head with a hunting carbine.
On November 5 in St. Petersburg, a 16-year-old schoolgirl jumped out of a fifth-floor window.
Source: https://lenta.ru/articles/2014/11/10/death/
