Is it possible to get married a second time, rules and how to get permission

Church canons have a clear position regarding how many times you can get married in Orthodoxy. Often, young married couples perceive this ritual as a beautiful element of a wedding celebration, without thinking that this is a serious step and an oath of allegiance to each other before the “Almighty.” Family life, unfortunately, may not work out and, as a result, divorce, meeting of your “halves” and the question that arises: is it possible to get married a second time?

The attitude of the Orthodox Church to the repeated sacrament of marriage

Divorce is condemned in the Orthodox faith, but the Church recognizes it, because a person, due to his weakness, can make a mistake. The bishop ruling the diocese during this period dissolves the bonds of marriage made in heaven.

The following objective reasons are considered legitimate:

• carnal infidelity;
• death;
• refusal of the husband (wife) from Orthodoxy;
• daughter-in-law;
• pandering;
• immoral vice in a husband or wife;
• a disease that is sexually transmitted, the list includes gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and other diseases;
• alcoholism;
• mental illnesses that cannot be treated;
• addiction;
• betrayal of faith;
• abortion performed against the will of the husband;
• life imprisonment.

With a living wife

How about marriage and family relations in the 18th century” P. Polyansky, the Church failed to eradicate the “ancient vice” of polyandry. We are, of course, not talking about simultaneous cohabitation with two or three wives (husbands). It was a common practice for a subsequent marriage to be entered into without dissolving the previous one.

Especially many cases accusing Orthodox Christians of this crime were considered by the Synod in the 18th century. In 1729, the Kiev bishop Varlaam repeatedly wrote about numerous cases of “abandonment of the first or second lawful wife” and “the audacity to accept the next lawless one.” Metropolitan Sylvester of Tobolsk reported such “indecencies and crimes” to the Synod in 1752.

How many times can you get married in Orthodoxy?

Orthodox clergy condemn divorce; in their opinion, it is a sin, because a wedding tells people and God about the choice of an eternal companion. In order not to sin, church rituals should be treated meaningfully. In case of family breakdown, the church allows two divorces.

After the first wedding, a person is allowed to marry twice with new partners. The clergy take into account the number of civil unions documented in the registry office. If a spouse has more than three, then the church refuses and does not marry the couple. All these subtleties are mentioned in church law.

Divorce letters

The Church tirelessly quoted the words of the Apostle Paul: “United to your wife? Don't look for a divorce." She quoted Jesus Christ, who said that he who divorces his wife himself commits the sin of fornication and gives his wife a reason to commit adultery. It is worth noting that for noble men, divorce did not become a problem. Until the 17th century, it was enough to find grounds for divorce, receive the blessing of the confessor, and then write a “letter of divorce” to the wife, have it certified by the priest - and that’s all: the marriage was considered annulled.

When divorcing mere mortals, the Church encountered difficulties. Firstly, it was often impossible to establish the true reason and identify the real circumstances that would allow the marriage to be annulled. Secondly, fearing red tape and litigation, people began to practice so-called “unauthorized divorces.” For a fee, parish priests issued “letters of divorce” to almost everyone who wanted them. This paper became proof that the person was not married. At the same time, the other half was often not even aware of the change in status. The “self-willed” were married in a church without documents, but the new marriage was recorded in the church register, so it was considered legal. So, Pushkin’s grandfather and great-grandfather got married while their wives were alive. Peter the Great also divorced his first wife “arbitrarily.”

The Synod repeatedly made attempts to ban the issuance of “letters of divorce” (1730, 1767), but, as you know, the prohibitions of the Russian people were rarely stopped.

In what cases is a re-wedding impossible?

A registered civil relationship with one person makes getting married to another partner impossible. Church laws deny polygamy and respect a union formalized according to all the rules in the registry office. The wedding ceremony is scheduled after documentary confirmation of official registration. A monk or nun cannot enter into a church marriage if they have taken a vow of monasticism. Clergy who have been ordained do not have the right to get married. A priest, before entering the priesthood, can enter into a union once and have one wife.

Getting married is not allowed if the spouse is unbaptized or an atheist. The Orthodox Church refuses to perform the ceremony if the spouses profess different religions.

A person who has cheated on his wife (husband) and destroyed his first official relationship cannot enter into a church marriage again. This prohibition does not apply to the injured party. A spouse can legitimize a new relationship by performing a wedding ceremony. The Church controls family relationships. Weddings are denied to persons in the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th degree of relationship.

The procedure is denied to persons who have been legally married three times. This category includes widowers and widows who have lost their spouse 3 times. This is how a marriage concluded according to church canons differs from a civil one. The latter has no such restrictions. Civil registry office employees accept for consideration all applications from citizens submitted for registration.

Stoglav is not a decree!

For the first time, a clear regulation of the permissible number of marriages for Orthodox Christians was recorded in Stoglav in 1551. Under no circumstances could priests remarry. Sextons and sextons, as well as ordinary laymen, could remarry, but no more than three times. In chapters 23-24 of Stoglav, the third marriage was called a “crime.” The fourth is wickedness.

The Church punished second and subsequent marriages. For the second - a two-year church penance. For the third - five years. For the fourth - prohibition from entering the church for 4 years and denial of communion for 10 years. The punishment could be mitigated due to objective reasons: due to repentance, absence of children from first marriages, or for being young.

But the rules established by the Church were not observed in practice. Metropolitan Jonah in his messages to the clergy and population of the Vyatka land in 1452 and 1456. wrote that many Christians live with unmarried wives, “and others get married, but illegally”: the fourth or fifth “copulation,” and others – the sixth, seventh (and up to the tenth).

Cases were repeatedly recorded when priests married a fifth marriage in church and with prayers. And some people managed to get married 6-7 times. The example of Ivan the Terrible, who in 1560, after the death of his first wife Anastasia, married 6 more times, can be considered a textbook example. French soldier Jacques Margeret wrote that “this Ivan Vasilyevich had seven wives” - and this “contradicts their religion, which does not allow marrying more than 3 times.” The Church Council recognized Grozny’s fourth marriage with grief, writing in the Council Charter of 1572 that anyone who risked “doing something like this” (marrying for the fourth time) would be anathematized. For the fifth, sixth and seventh marriage, the tsar no longer took permission from the Church. He only observed a short church penance.

Features of the ceremony for the second time

According to Orthodox customs, before the wedding, spouses must fast for 3-4 days. 12 hours before the sacrament, stop drinking water and food. Avoid intimate relationships for several days. Be sure to attend the liturgy and go to confession. Read the prayers before communion:

• Lord Jesus Christ;
• Guardian Angel;
• Our Lady;
• Follow-up to Holy Communion.

When spouses are married for the first time, the crowns should be placed directly above the heads of the newlyweds. During the repeat ritual, their place is above the shoulders. They are absent when the sacrament is performed for the 3rd time. The ceremony follows the traditional pattern, with one spouse getting married for the first time and the other for the second time.

How to get permission after divorce

If there are irresolvable contradictions, the married husband and wife must dissolve the civil marriage . Visit the registry office, go through the official divorce procedure, and receive documentary evidence in your hands. In Orthodoxy, the concept of a divorced woman (man) does not exist. The sacrament of wedding takes place before God, and not on paper. The young people will bear the burden of responsibility for their future life together before the Lord. To get married again, you need to complete a number of procedures:

• contact the Diocesan Administration by submitting a written request addressed to the bishop;
• collect a package of necessary documents and attach it to the application;
• expect a response;
• in order to explain in detail the reasons for the divorce, undergo an interview, it is conducted by a priest, he studies the reasons, recognizes them as valid and gives a blessing for a re-wedding, or does not recognize their objectivity and refuses a blessing.

Having received permission, a person can get married again in any Orthodox church in the country. To receive a blessing and perform the sacrament of church marriage, the presence of a former spouse is not required.

List of documents needed when submitting an application:

• Russian passport;
• wedding document;
• divorce certificate from the registry office;
• death certificate or doctor's report about an incurable illness.

The form of a written application for a second wedding is determined by the church in which it will take place. The church servants will give detailed advice, show you a sample of the form to fill out, and indicate all the necessary details (diocese, name of the ruling bishop). The minister will announce the amount of voluntary donation.

There is no charge for the sacrament of marriage.

Life of a pig

The Church officially prohibited the fourth marriage, remembering that Gregory the Theologian called it “a pig’s life.” But in practice, both nobles and ordinary subjects ignored this prohibition. Thus, the records of the Astrakhan bishop from 1741 have been preserved, in which he describes his investigation into the Don Cossacks who moved to Tsaritsyn. “Among them,” the bishop wrote, “many were in unlawful marriages. Some had two wives at the same time, others were in their fourth marriage.”

However, practice shows that clergy often turned a blind eye to the “pig’s life.” If it was indeed difficult for the priests of Siberia to establish the status of migrants (many moved from one place to another, providing false information), then the clergy of Central Russia did not have a similar problem. The thought of the priest’s complicity arises when such an example comes up. In the village In Mtsensk, Oryol province, in 1757, a woman got married again while her husband was alive in the same church where she got married for the first time. And the ceremony was performed by the same priest.

Debunking

Church debunking does not exist as an official documented procedure. This is an everyday term, it is often used by ministers in churches. If one of the spouses committed a sin (cheated), then the church recognizes that the marriage has lost its validity. This fact is not recorded on paper. By debunking we mean a blessing issued by the church for remarriage.

The church union is considered dissolved after the re-wedding ceremony. The Church does not consider worldly reasons compelling for its accomplishment:

• divergence of spiritual and worldly interests;
• family financial and housing problems.

Widows and widowers: do they have the right to a church marriage?

Is it possible for a widow to get married a second time? What about the widower? Especially those who are connected by church ties to a spouse who is no longer alive?

Orthodoxy allows this possibility, since the marital relationship was interrupted by death. However, the Holy Apostle Paul said that it is better to accept your fate as a widow or widower and live in this position until the end of your days. All because a marriage blessed by God implies remaining faithful to one’s chosen one both during life and after death.

And yet, if the widowed spouse decided to re-tie himself in marriage and at the same time appear before God and ask for a blessing, then the church will not deprive him of this opportunity, but he will not have to count on a solemn ceremony. The procedure will take place according to the rules of a second marriage.

Is it possible for a widower to get married a second time? Like widows, this is not prohibited to them, but provided that the last marriage was not the third.

What else do you need to know

Church marriages do not take place every day of the week. In the Russian Church, weddings can be scheduled for Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Sunday. The exception is fasting days; their calendar is shown in the table below.

The church ceremony is not carried out on the eve and during the period of great Christian and temple holidays, during the celebration of Christmastide. Both spouses are responsible for the marriage. You should not go to church or enter into an eternal union before God if you have doubts about your partner or your own intentions.