Some hundred years ago, no one could even think of the question of how to regulate the number of children in a family. This applied to both the poor and the rich. A pregnant woman was perceived as a normal occurrence in life. God gives as many children as He sees fit. The infertility of one of the spouses, as a rule, the woman was blamed for this, was considered a curse, shame or punishment from God.
To the question: “Is it a sin for Orthodox Christians to protect themselves?” one can answer the question: “Is it a sin to produce homeless children and beggars?” The main thing is to understand what the Bible says about this, and what is the will of the Creator when creating a family.
Family planning from God?
Living in an Orthodox state, most people consider themselves Christians, wear small crosses and huge crosses, but do not know God. That is why they are not afraid, living in a civil marriage, they kill unborn children, justifying that this is not yet a person.
Contraception in Orthodoxy has long been controversial; many Christians do not even try to understand this issue, categorically condemning family planning.
In time immemorial, people lived off agriculture, what they produced, grew, then sold, and that’s how they survived. Modern life is much more complicated, and here a person can no longer go out into the field and kill an animal in order to feed his family if he loses his job. Children were born at home back then, and it did not cost a huge amount, but modern Christians have to think about how many children they are able to not only give birth to, but also raise.
About the birth of children:
- Which icon to pray to get pregnant and give birth to a child
- Is it obligatory for Orthodox families to have many children?
- About adoption of children
Adam and Eve
The Bible does not have a clear answer to this question. Having created Adam and Eve, the Creator wished them to be fruitful and multiply. The couple expelled from paradise did not have luxurious houses or enough food, but they were under the protection of the Creator.
The Creator never leaves His children without knowledge if they obey Him. Reading the Bible, Genesis, it is easy to see that until the end of Adam’s life there were many people on earth who lived in small villages, all of them were descendants of a couple created by God. It is impossible to answer the question why God gives many children to poor people, while those who are rich and have carefully calculated everything are left without heirs as a result.
Having planned one child and then losing it, parents often blame themselves for not allowing another child to be born. How can you judge people whose firstborn is down, and doctors do not guarantee the birth of a healthy second?
A young couple who truly loved the Creator gave birth to a desired child, a boy, he was named after the prophet Daniel, prophesying wisdom and love for God in the life of his son. The young mother, who grew up as the only daughter in the family, could not even think about a second baby, so as not to spill her love for her Danechka.
The thunder did not strike immediately, only a few years later the couple learned that their son was sick with a terrible disease that could not be cured all over the world. Of course, the question arose about a second baby, and again the terrible answer was 50/50. Prayers, fasting, staying in the temple, complete trust in the Creator, and David, a healthy, strong son, was born.
After 13 years, Daniel went to the angels.
Faith in God, eternal life and a future meeting with their son in heaven gave the parents strength to continue living, and the youngest boy remained a joy for them. By the way, the couple didn’t plan anything further, they just didn’t have any more children. This was the will of God.
Proverbs 19:21 says that a person can plan a lot, but only what the Creator has determined will happen.
Nowhere in Orthodox postulates does it say how many children you need to have and whether this process can be planned if basic laws are not violated. Each family itself will answer on the Day of Judgment why and for what reasons the number of children was planned. You can't judge people without going through their path.
200 days of fasting, when, as people say, the bed is empty. Spouses abstain from sexual relations during prayers, fasts and major holidays. Next, several days of church-sanctioned sex may fall during the menstrual period, prenatal, and postpartum time. It turns out that Orthodox life itself makes its own adjustments to family planning.
Read about marital relationships:
- On the intimate relationships of Orthodox spouses
- On marital intimacy during Lent
- About the sin of masturbation
Judaism
There is no consensus in Judaism on contraception, Borukh Gorin, a representative of the Federation of Jewish Communities of Russia (FJC), told RIA Novosti.
“For a childless person, from the point of view of Judaism, contraception creates a greater problem than for someone who already has two children of different sexes. For most rabbis, the birth of a boy and a girl is considered the fulfillment of the commandment to be fruitful and multiply,” Gorin said.
A FJC representative told the agency that in Judaism, “the health of the mother is more important than the birth of a child.” If one of the spouses is diagnosed with HIV, then the second spouse “not only can, he must use protection.”
© RIA Novosti. Marina Makovetskaya Muslim - resident of Ainisky district of Tajikistan with children
How Orthodoxy views sex among married couples
Some particularly religious people argue that sex is permissible only for the birth of children. What about spouses who cannot have offspring? Sex was created by God himself, so that spouses become one, and there is nothing shameful about it.
Married couple
It is hypocritical to say that sex is only for procreation. The answer is given by the Book of Wisdom - the Bible through the Proverbs of King Solomon (Prov. 5:19) says that the husband should constantly delight his wife.
Nothing is said here about the birth of a baby, only about the joy of mutual relationships. God created marriage so that two people could become one, helping each other. The birth of children, if any appear, is an important aspect of the feat of salvation.
Spouses are called to instruct each other in spiritual life; sex for husband and wife is:
- blessing from heaven;
- deep unity;
- Love;
- tenderness;
- care;
- sacrifice.
Important!
In close relationships, as in everything else that brings pleasure, one must be able to set limits so as not to become a slave to uncontrollable desires when sex becomes a sin. I would like to remind you that the Orthodox Church, by the concept of family, means married couples who have undergone the Sacrament of Wedding and received God's blessing. The church does not recognize any premarital trial or civil marriages; all this is a sin of adultery.
Wedding of spouses
Is it acceptable to use non-abortive contraception (in special cases)?
I don't think it's possible to talk about this issue in particular. Firstly , it is not very decent to discuss the methods of contraception themselves (especially since I don’t know what is meant by the word “etc.”). Secondly , I am not very aware of diseases that can be a real, I emphasize, a real obstacle to having children. Thirdly , I, a father of five children and a priest who knows many stories of relationships between my spiritual children and gynecologists and obstetricians, unfortunately know the overwhelming criminal position of modern Russian doctors regarding childbirth, which consists not in supporting motherhood, but in opposing to him. So I will answer in general.
I think you know better than me that, in principle, there is only one method of contraception that gives a 100% result. This is the absence of sex life. Any other methods of contraception have one or another percentage of the probability of pregnancy. And I can tell you with complete confidence that in reality, any pregnancy occurs not when we wanted it or didn’t want it, but when God wanted it. You just have to believe it.
No illness can become an obstacle to childbirth. Doctors are powerless to predict anything in this case. Sometimes pregnancy is healing. And sometimes, seemingly due to pregnancy, a completely healthy woman develops a fatal disease. For you and your wife, your case is special because for you it is unique. And for me there are hundreds of such cases. And I can say from the point of view of a believer and from the standpoint of ordinary logic that in reality there is no proven connection between birth control, pregnancy and mortality. Everything is in God's hands. And the sick are healed, and the healthy perish. Therefore, “a categorical prohibition by doctors to have another child” cannot be a justification for the use of contraception.
Otherwise, another conclusion suggests itself. Not from my words, but you can check the information in medical sources yourself that no method of contraception is 100% effective. This is a scientific fact. So, if you accept this fact and believe that the doctors who forbid your wife to give birth are right, then by having sex with your wife using any contraception, you are putting her life in danger! Or is that not true? And deep down in your soul, you yourself do not trust these doctors, but still rely on the Will of God?
As for the two types of birth control you cited, they fall under the condemnation of the sin of Onan, because associated with the outpouring of semen outside its intended purpose.
I don’t know what the position of the Russian Orthodox Church is on this issue.
Is contraception a sin?
Before we talk about contraception, we need to understand its action. Why is it considered a sin for Orthodox Christians to use contraception; what laws of God are violated?
Orthodoxy opposes abortion and contraception, during which the fetus is destroyed after the fertilization period. Contraception, based on the destruction of a fertilized egg, refers to the murder of an unborn baby, because from the moment of fertilization a soul is infused into the small creature.
The Church condemns contraception based on mini-abortions; no arguments in this case justify the sin of murder. At 12 weeks, the embryo looks like a fully formed human being.
Many contraceptives are hormonal; when taken, they harm the female body, which is the temple of God. (1 Cor. 3:16-17). This is the sin of contraception from the point of view of Orthodoxy.
Some contraceptives are based on preventing a woman's egg from maturing or increasing the mucus in the uterus so much that sperm are completely immobilized. In this case, there is no fertilization, no conception.
Creating an Orthodox family is not just about giving birth to a bunch of children, because they also need to be raised as healthy, full-fledged Christians. A selfish attitude towards having children as a problem that prevents you from enjoying life, building a business or something like that is a clear sin and devalues marriage.
Islam
The representative of the Coordination Center for Muslims of the North Caucasus, Mufti Shafig Pshikhachev, told the RIA Novosti news agency that for Muslims procreation is the main goal of creating a family.
“Our Prophet said that on the day of the Great Judgment a person will be responsible for every penny he spends. But he will not account for the funds that were allocated for the well-being of the family,” the mufti said.
However, the agency's interlocutor noted that if a woman cannot give birth for health reasons, then Islam allows the use of contraception.
So is contraception sinful?
I understand, friends, that the problems of intersexual relations do not at all fit with my position and rank. Well, how can a monk (!) even reason in this area? That's funny. I agree, there is wide scope for sarcasm here. If I were in your place, I would probably laugh too. But since it so happens that there are no married priests on the site yet, I undertake to explain such delicate issues.
My previous column about abortion raised a number of questions from readers and, as I see it, misunderstanding. I consider it necessary to explain some points in order to eliminate, if possible, these misunderstandings.
It seemed to some that the Orthodox Church indiscriminately condemns contraception as a sin, and supposedly requires engaging in sexual relations solely for the sake of having children. This is wrong. It is a sin to use those contraceptives that have an abortifacient effect, artificially interrupting the life of the embryo at the earliest stages (for example, an intrauterine device). Other means that are not related to the suppression of an already conceived life cannot in any way be equated to abortion, and they are not considered sinful (unless, of course, there is a fundamental refusal to have children in the family). On this issue, the Orthodox position differs from the position of the Catholic Church, where all contraceptives are prohibited.
The different views of our churches on this issue lie in different understandings of the purpose of marriage. The Catholic Church sees the main purpose of marriage in procreation. The Orthodox Church believes that the main meaning and purpose of any marriage, especially a Christian marriage, lies in the love and eternal unity of the spouses. Intimate relationships are an important component of married life, which make the relationship between two people filled with tenderness, awe, delight and cannot only be a means of reproduction.
In the Orthodox understanding, childbearing is not a goal. Childbearing is an inevitable and natural part of marriage. And those who deliberately refuse to have children devalue their marriage and commit an undoubted sin. How many children to have and what control over conception should be and its acceptable forms can be decided on a strictly individual basis by each Christian family. After all, in order for the life given by parents to their children to be fully human in nature, it should not be limited to physical existence. It should include parental care, education, and sufficient material support. When preparing for the birth of children, parents must be prepared to fulfill these responsibilities. And only Christian spouses themselves, who are serious about their faith, can make the only right decision, avoiding excessive concern for material security and seeing in children the joy and gift of God.
PS . When I went to the monastery (I was 17 years old), I was sure that the main difficulty would be the fight against carnal passion, the vow of celibacy and all that... I directed my main spiritual forces precisely against this problem and, I must say, the struggle turned out to be not so difficult, as was expected. The main difficulty lay in wait for me on the other side, which I initially did not think about. The longer I stay in the monastery, the harder it is to realize the fact that I will never see MY children. I really have to fight this to the limit of my strength, and I really hope that God and only He will help me survive this test. I kindly envy, friends, your opportunity to give life to someone, to become like God in this creative act. Treasure this gift and abandon the way of the devil - the struggle with life. God bless us all.
