Silence during a wake is normal. Don't try to fill the pause with empty words. But sometimes it’s still worth paying tribute to the departed. In this case, it is necessary to choose the right memorial words - those that will not sound too pretentious, but can truly characterize the person and honor his memory. Listen to what is said at the funeral and create your own memorable speech.
What is death
Due to the exorbitant development of atheism and unbelief, death for most modern people, as a rule, is presented in the form of the complete death of a person. “A man lived, lived and... bam - he is completely gone, disappeared forever, forever,” - this is what atheism teaches, which does not recognize the doctrine of the immortality of the human soul.
Therefore, an atheist and a simple non-believer are afraid of death in every possible way and try to avoid it, although nothing more insane can be imagined. After all, death is the inevitable outcome of any person’s life; it is impossible to avoid it. You can only delay her arrival for a while, and even this is quite problematic.
Meanwhile, the atheist’s opinion that after people’s lives their complete non-existence begins has absolutely no basis. But it rests only on the absurd and blind faith of the atheist himself. Just as a Christian believes in the immortality of the soul, just as an atheist, on the contrary, believes in its mortality after the death of the body.
Let us evaluate these two faiths from a logical point of view. Christianity encourages us to believe that the soul, being immortal, does not die after the death of a person, but continues to live in rebirth. Atheism makes us believe that the soul supposedly also dies along with the body, and after that we will never exist again. Isn’t that very “optimistic”?! What should we believe?
Even if we assume that both of these beliefs are equally probable in relation to the truth, then their relationship can be clearly depicted as follows. There are, as it were, two roads in front of us: the sign of one says, if you follow this path, you will definitely die (as atheism claims); the second pointer is that by following this path you will perhaps be saved and finish your journey safely.
Which way should a normal person go?! Of course, the second one, which promises salvation, and not certain death. But, unfortunately, now, more than ever, “wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many go through it; For strait is the gate and narrow is the way that leads to life, and few find it” (Matthew 7:13-14).
However, in any case, a Christian should believe that death is not the complete destruction of a person, but only the separation of soul and body. The latter goes into the earth from which it was taken (Gen. 3: 19), and the soul is immortal, and therefore remains in eternity.
Farewell words to a deceased mother
“She is a worthy example not only for children, but also for those around her. I am eternally grateful for a decent upbringing: without her, I could not become the person I am today. She instilled in her children high moral qualities and a sense of responsibility. Her life was long and happy. The death of (name) is a great loss for our family. Everlasting memory."
***
“She was a truly loving mother who would give everything for the happiness of her children. Her dedication knew no bounds. I remember that year when our family found itself on the verge of poverty. It was difficult to somehow feed. But mom could cook a delicious dinner out of nothing.”
***
“For many who came today to honor the memory of my mother, she was a close friend, for some a work colleague, for others a beloved and caring sister. And only for two of those present here is she a mother. The mom you can only dream about"
***
“Our family suffered a huge loss, having lost an important part of us - you, mom. She was amazingly modest, amazingly tactful, wise and talented. A true keeper of the family hearth. It was thanks to her and her many years of tireless work, support, attention and firm management that our home was a real fortress and a refuge from everyday storms. And all family members were always kind, warm, well-fed, dressed, educated and cheerful. Mom always knew how to console and when not to impose advice and moral teaching. She knew how to find an approach to anyone, although it was not easy. She painstakingly, day after day, created our cozy, comfortable little world, in which everyone is significant and not forgotten. She gave us light, warmth and kindness every day. And we can never forget this."
***
“Now mommy, take a break from your labors and get some sleep. You stayed with us for such a short time, but left love and warmth for several lives to come. And you will remain in my heart forever. You will forever be an example of a real mother, and your lessons (your example) will never be forgotten. We will try to create in our families the same warmth, love and joy that you strived for.”
***
“Mom, thank you for those wise and correct advice that were so effective and helped to avoid many troubles. Your kind heart, golden hands and radiant eyes will forever remain in my memory. Mom, you gave the main thing. You gave life! And today we, your children, say goodbye to you, but you will always live in our hearts! Love you. Rest in peace"
***
“I knew your mother very well. We met when you were still very young and became friends. I never thought that I would have to sit at the table like this without our Taya. What a woman she was! Both economical and hard-working. I remember asking her more than once when she had time to do everything. And she laughs and says: “My children gave me wings, where my hands can’t help me, there they help.” “That’s what your mother was like.” She baked pies, fed the whole neighborhood, mowed hay, and distributed it to everyone. Earth, accept God’s servant Taisia, give her swan’s down and goose feathers.”
Evidence of the immortality of the soul
As for the atheist, he cannot provide any evidence of his false teaching about the mortality of the soul. His pathetic chatter on this matter “about the achievements of science” is not worth a damn, since science has not dealt with this issue. Although recently, on the contrary, it has presented some evidence from people who have experienced clinical death that there is another, spiritual life after death.
But Christianity can point to the obvious fact that all humanity, and always, with the exception of the relatively short time of widespread atheism (the twentieth and the beginning of our twenty-first centuries), believed that the soul is immortal. True, this faith was expressed in different forms, sometimes quite far from Christianity, but it almost always existed.
Modern science, studying myths, fairy tales, and beliefs of the ancients, has come to the conclusion that there is some kind of reality behind all this. Obviously, such a widespread belief in the posthumous existence of the soul suggests that it is truly immortal.
Today's people can understand this, and what death is, in the following way. Nowadays computers are very common and many people use them. But at the same time, a distinction is made between this device itself, which is sometimes called “hardware,” and its software. And what’s interesting is that the latter turns out to be, in a certain sense, independent of the former.
So, for example, the computer itself sometimes gets destroyed for some reason, but its software may well exist without hardware, but on a different medium. As we see, it is very similar to human death: the body is destroyed, but the immortal soul continues to exist in another world.
There is another similar example that Christians sometimes give. A baby, when it is conceived and lives for nine months in its mother’s womb, they say, believes that this existence is its real being. When the time of birth comes, he perceives this as the end of this existence, i.e. death. But in fact, as we all know, the birth of a person opens the door to another, much more extensive and attractive world than the cramped womb! Likewise, our physical death is also a door to another, immeasurably larger world, to rebirth.
However, as Christianity teaches, the fate of each of us there is different - depending on the faith and moral deeds of the person himself, committed during his earthly life. This is where the Orthodox virtue comes from, which is called
Mortal memory
Unlike an atheist, a true Christian is not afraid of death, knowing that another life follows after it. But he is afraid of God's judgment for his earthly deeds. Therefore, he tries to live piously, according to God’s commandments, in love for his neighbor, doing good deeds of mercy.
This virtue forces him to do this, called mortal memory, i.e. the constant memory that sooner or later, perhaps even this day, he will die, and with his good and evil deeds he will appear before the judgment of God. Which makes him do good, avoiding sinful deeds. As the holy fathers said:
“Remember your last - and you will never sin.”
It’s a different matter for an atheist, who, as mentioned above, is insanely afraid of death, which, after all, will come someday anyway. But at the same time, not believing in retribution from beyond the grave, he is not afraid to do evil, and often even the most notorious and disgusting sins. At the same time, trampling and hurting your neighbor in every possible way.
Let's compare one with the other and think - which is better?!
How to prepare a memorial speech at a funeral?
First of all, remember that there are many people who want to speak at a memorial meal, so you should speak as briefly and concisely as possible. You should not go into details or retell the entire biography; it is better to talk about a striking incident, an interesting story or the merits of the deceased. However, we should not forget about the rules of decency: before you start speaking memorial words at the wake, you should definitely introduce yourself and talk about how you were connected with the deceased. You need to think about what you will say in advance, and speak clearly and clearly, without choosing words on the fly and without getting confused in presenting the facts, since this may be taken as disrespect for the deceased, as well as people close to him. But at the same time, you should not memorize your words at the wake, since in this case your speech may lose its sincerity and expressiveness.
It would be appropriate to include in your speech references to your attitude towards the personality of the deceased, about common affairs or hobbies. In conclusion, you can recall suitable quotes that the deceased said on this or that occasion.
Funeral words to the father should contain gratitude and respect for the head of the family, the person who raised and raised the speaker. The same can be said in memorial words to mother, which should also be full of tenderness and love. Giving a speech at your parents' wake is very difficult, so no one will judge you if you refuse to speak publicly at the wake or even stop halfway, unable to continue your speech.
Funeral words for a grandparent can consist of memories of a joyful childhood, about the important role he or she played in your upbringing.
When preparing memorial words for your friend, remember your joint hobbies and character traits for which you especially appreciated the person. A toast at a friend's funeral should contain words of condolences to the relatives of the deceased, and not just a story about your own grief of loss.
You need to end the funeral speech with the phrases “Eternal memory”, “May he rest in peace” or suitable passages of prayers if the person and his family were believers. Remember that your speech should support those present and help them learn to move on with their lives. It is important not to offend anyone and not to awaken the pain experienced, therefore, when composing funeral words, think it over carefully, trying to avoid all the sharp corners and even the slightest hints of the weaknesses or shortcomings of the deceased.
Funeral speech - sample
First you need to say your name. Not everyone present at a funeral or wake knows you. It should be remembered that long, vague, expansive phrases are suitable for political debates, but not for funeral speeches. You should speak briefly and to the point. So, examples of speech at a wake:
* * *
“I’ll introduce myself for those who don’t know me: my name is (name). We have worked together with (name of deceased) for the past few years and I would like to say a few words in memory of him.
He was a true professional in his field, a Specialist with a capital S. Many of our colleagues, young and not only, learned the basics of their craft from him and often used his advice and help. He was very patient and responsive, he could always listen to everyone who turned to him for support, advise something, help out, and never refused anyone’s requests. He could perfectly lift the spirits of anyone who was upset, confused or depressed about something. The countless funny stories, toasts, jokes and anecdotes he told could amuse anyone. We will all greatly miss him at our dinner gatherings and corporate events, where he invariably shone at the table, lifting our morale. There is no other person like him in our team. And maybe in my memory it will no longer be
We will all miss him greatly. Until the end of his life, he will remain in my memory and the memory of all our colleagues as an example of perseverance, sparkling cheerfulness, activity and professionalism!
Rest in peace, dear colleague!”
* * *
“My grandmother was a wonderful person with a difficult but interesting life. She, along with her three younger brothers and sister, were raised by her mother alone during the difficult post-war years. To say that they lived poorly then would be an understatement. She had to endure many difficulties and hardships, but she never lost her optimism and presence of mind, constantly helping her mother and taking care of the younger members of the family. And later, having married her military grandfather, she steadfastly endured all the hardships of service. In any circumstances, she always maintained exemplary order at home and taught all family members to do so. Grandma was sometimes strict, but fair. I am glad that I managed to learn from her neatness and order, the ability to organize my life. And her famous apple pies were simply incomparable, no one else could do them!
I will always remember you, my dear, beloved grandmother! Your warmth, love and care will remain with us forever.”
Funeral words during a conversation at a funeral dinner
The official memorial words at the wake are not limited to; throughout the event, you need to remember the deceased with kind words, talk about his positive qualities, worthy deeds and pleasant moments when you were with him. You can talk about all this during a meal with your table neighbors. To do this, you don’t need to specifically think through what to say at the wake; your speech should be spontaneous, caused by memories and emotions that have surfaced. Here it is more important than ever to be sincere; any falsity will be immediately recognized and will leave a very negative imprint. It is important that the narrator is not affected by the negative qualities of the deceased, his not the most honest or correct actions. Vulgar humor or stories in which the deceased found himself in an undignified or humiliating position are absolutely inappropriate.
Short words of condolences
He was a bright, kind, powerful, talented person. An example for all of us. We will always remember!
I used to love her. My condolences!
This is a tragedy: we are in great pain at this hour. But it’s hardest for you! If we can help you with anything, please contact us immediately!
He meant a lot to me in my life. I mourn with you!
Our entire family sympathizes with your grief. Our condolences... Be strong!
What a loss! Man of God! I pray for him, I pray for all of you!
What a pity that I didn’t have time to tell him “I’m sorry!” He opened a new world for me, and I will always remember it! My sincere condolences!
I mourn your loss. I know this is a hard blow for you. We offer our sincere condolences to all family and friends.
A wonderful man has passed away. My condolences to you and your entire family at this sad and difficult moment.
This tragedy has hurt all of us. But of course, it affected you the most. My condolences.
Sincere condolences to family and friends. Big loss for us. Her memory will be in our hearts. We mourn together with our families.
Please accept our sincere condolences. May God reward her in heaven for all the good she did. She is and will remain in our hearts...
We offer you and your entire family our deepest condolences on your tragic death... We share your grief and offer you words of support and consolation. We pray for the deceased... With condolences..
Sincere condolences to the family and friends of the untimely departed... from our entire family. It is very bitter to lose your loved ones, family and friends, and doubly bitter if the young, beautiful and talented leave us. May God rest his soul.
Everyone who knew him is grieving now, because such a tragedy cannot leave anyone indifferent. I understand how difficult it is for you right now. I will never be able to forget him and I assure you that I will support you in every possible way, should you contact me.
We mourn with you for the untimely death. This is a great loss for everyone, we express our sincere condolences to the parents, all relatives and friends. May God bless his soul.
They say they love their grandchildren even more than their children. And we felt this love of our grandmother to the fullest. Her love will warm us all our lives, and we, in turn, will pass on a piece of this warmth to our grandchildren and great-grandchildren - may the sun of love never fade...
There is nothing worse and more painful than losing a child. It is impossible to find such words of support to ease your pain even a little. One can only imagine how difficult it is for you right now. Please accept our sincere condolences on the death of your dear daughter.
Dear... I may not have known your father very well personally, but I know how much he meant in your life, because you so often spoke about his love of life, sense of humor, wisdom, care for you... I think that many people will miss him grab I pray to God for you and your family.
There are no words to express how deeply we mourn death. She was a wonderful, kind woman. We cannot even imagine how much of a blow her passing was for you. We miss her endlessly and remember how she once... She was a model of tact and mercy. We are happy that she was in our lives. You can count on our help at any moment.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. I express my sincere sympathy to all of you and know this is a very sad and sad time for you. I know from my own life how deep the loss is when you realize that he will no longer be in your life. I can tell you, the only thing that can help you get over your loss is your memories. Your father lived a long and full life and achieved a lot in his life. He will always be remembered as a hardworking, intelligent and loving man. My thoughts and prayers will be with you all. May you find solace in your family and friends who share your loss. My deepest condolences.
I am shocked by this sad news. It's hard to accept. I share your pain of loss...
My heart is broken by yesterday's news. I worry with you and remember you with the warmest words! It's hard to accept loss! Everlasting memory!
The news of your brother's death is a terrible blow! It hurts to even think that we won't see him again. Please accept my and my husband's condolences for your loss!
Until now, the news about my aunt’s death seems like a ridiculous mistake! It's impossible to comprehend this! Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss!
My condolences! It hurts to even think about it, it’s hard to talk about. I sympathize with your pain! Everlasting memory!
It is difficult to express in words how much we sympathize with your loss! A golden man, of which there are few! We will always remember him!
This is an incredible, catastrophic loss. The loss of a real person, an idol, an exemplary family man and a citizen of his country.
We sympathize with your loss! The news of our son's death shocked our entire family. We remember and will remember him as a most worthy person. Please accept our sincere condolences!
It's little consolation, but know that we are with you in the grief of losing your daughter and sincerely sympathize with your entire family! Everlasting memory!
Words cannot express all the pain and sadness. Like a bad dream. Eternal peace for your soul.
I was stunned by this terrible news. For me, she is a hospitable hostess, a kind woman, but for you... The loss of your mother... I sympathize with you so much and cry with you!
We are very... very upset beyond words! It’s hard when you lose loved ones, but the death of a mother is a grief for which there is no cure. Please accept my sincere condolences for your loss!
She was a model of delicacy and tact. Her memory will be as endless as her kindness to all of us. The passing of a mother is an incomparable grief. Please accept my deepest condolences!
We are happy that we knew her. Her kind disposition and generosity surprised us all, and that is how she will be remembered! It is difficult to express our grief in words - it is too great. Let the kindest memories and bright memories of her be at least a small consolation!
The news of her departure came as a shock to us. We can only guess what a blow her departure was for you. At such moments we feel abandoned, but remember that you have friends who loved and appreciated your mother. Count on our help!
Words cannot heal a terrible wound in the heart. But bright memories of her, how honestly and honorably she lived her life, will always be stronger than death. In the bright memory of her, we are with you forever!
Losing loved ones is very difficult... And the loss of a mother is the loss of a part of yourself... Mom will always be missed, but may the memory of her and the warmth of a mother always be with you!
Her whole life was spent in countless labors and worries. We will always remember her as such a warm-hearted and soulful woman!
Without parents, without mother, there is no one between us and the grave. May wisdom and perseverance help you get through these most difficult days. Hold on!
The paragon of virtue went with her! But she will remain a guiding star for all of us who remember, love and honor her.
It is for her that you can dedicate kind words: “She whose actions and deeds came from the soul, from the heart.” May she rest in peace!
The life she lived has a name: “Virtue.” She is a source of life, faith and love for loving children and grandchildren. The Kingdom of heaven!
How much we didn’t tell her during her lifetime!
Please accept my sincere condolences! What a man! Just as she lived modestly and quietly, she left humbly, as if a candle had gone out.
We are deeply saddened by the news of your father's death. He was a fair and strong man, a loyal and sensitive friend. We knew him well and loved him like a brother.
Our family mourns with you. The loss of such reliable support in life is irreparable. But remember that we would be honored to help you any minute you need it.
My condolences! The death of a beloved husband is the loss of oneself. Hang in there, these are the hardest days! We mourn together with your grief, we are close...
Today everyone who knew him mourns with you. This tragedy does not leave anyone close to us indifferent. I will never forget my friend, and I consider it my duty to him to support you on any occasion, should you contact me.
I am so sorry that ...... and I had disagreements at one time. But I always appreciated and respected him as a person. I apologize for my moments of pride and offer you my help. Today and always.
I am truly sorry for the loss of your dad. This is a very sad and sad time for you. But good memories are what will help you survive this loss. Your father lived a long and colorful life and achieved success and respect in it. We also join in our friends’ words of grief and memories of him.
I sincerely sympathize with you... What a person, what a personality! He deserves more words than can be said right now. In the memories of my grandfather, he is both our teacher of justice and mentor in life. Eternal memory to him!
Without a father, without parents, there is no one between us and the grave. But he set an example of courage, perseverance and wisdom. And I'm sure that he wouldn't want you to grieve like that right now. Be strong! I sincerely sympathize with you.
Your shock at the onset of loneliness is a severe shock. But you have the strength to overcome grief and continue what he did not manage to do. We are nearby, and we will help with everything - contact us! This is our duty to the memory of our father!
We mourn with you in this difficult moment! He is the kindest person, a moneyless man, he lived for his neighbors. We sympathize with your loss and join you in the kindest and brightest memories of your husband.
We're sorry for your loss! We sympathize - the loss is irreparable! Intelligence, iron will, honesty and justice... - we are lucky to work with such a friend and colleague! We would like to ask him for forgiveness for so many things, but it’s too late... Eternal memory to a mighty man!
Mom, we mourn and cry with you! Our sincere gratitude from children and grandchildren and warm memories of a good father and good grandfather! Our memory of him will be eternal!
I would like to find words to somehow ease your pain, but it is difficult to imagine whether such words exist on earth at all. Bright and eternal memory!
I mourn with you in this difficult moment. It’s scary to even imagine that half of you has left. But for the sake of the children, for the sake of loved ones, we need to get through these sorrowful days. Invisibly, he will always be there - in the soul and in our eternal memory of this bright man.
Love will not die, and the memory of it will always illuminate our hearts!
For all of us, he will remain an example of love of life. And may his love for life illuminate the emptiness and grief of loss and help you survive the time of farewell. We mourn with you in difficult times and will remember him forever!
There are such mournful words: “A loved one does not die, but simply ceases to be around.” In your memory, in your soul, your love will be eternal! We remember him with kind words.
What happens to the soul after death
What do the 1st, 3rd, 9th and 40th days mean and how to spend them correctly
Immediately after it, on the first day, the soul of any deceased person experiences relief, freed from the bonds of the flesh. Especially if this, as often happens, was preceded by a more or less prolonged illness. But then the feeling of the soul of a true Christian is different, who is joyfully convinced of the justice of his faith and has hope in salvation by the grace of God.
The soul of an atheist feels differently, who sees with his own eyes the falsity and futility of his belief in the death of the soul and trembles, awaiting the inevitable judgment of God, for which he is completely unprepared.
3rd day
However, both on this day and subsequently, to a certain extent, can be supported by the funeral prayers of relatives for them, both personal and church. These prayers are especially important on the 3rd day, when the soul of the deceased first comes before the throne of God, and when heaven and hell are shown to it... Therefore, on this day, a Christian funeral service for the deceased and his burial are usually performed.
9th day
On the 9th day after death, a memorial service is performed so that the soul of the deceased is numbered among the nine ranks of angels.
40th day
The most important, however, is the 40th day after death. Before this or on this day (there are different opinions of different theologians) the soul passes, i.e. tested at various ordeals. Where on the scales of God's justice her virtues and sins are weighed - which will outweigh?! If the first ones outweigh, they will go to heaven; outweigh the latter - he will go to hell! And on this fortieth day she again stands before the throne of God, where she hears her final sentence.
This is the most important day in the life of every person. Therefore, it is so important to support the soul of the deceased with church prayer - a memorial service. It should be done on this very day or, if circumstances do not allow it, then a day earlier. There will be a funeral service later on this day, and not on the 40th day, since God’s judgment has already been completed. The same applies to the funeral dinner, which will be discussed in more detail below.
What should relatives do on the 40th day after the death of a loved one?
Commemoration in the temple
What should relatives do during these forty days and, especially, on the fortieth? As already mentioned, perform church and personal funeral prayers for the deceased. Namely: submit notes for funeral liturgies; funeral services; parastases. It is also good to read the Psalter for the deceased before burial. Which has spell power, i.e. drives demons away from the soul of the deceased. Usually an experienced church reader is hired for this.
But the most powerful commemoration is at the liturgy. Because a piece of prosphora, taken out with the name of the deceased, is then washed with the Blood of Christ, which also washes away the sins of the deceased. Therefore, it is advisable to order a funeral liturgy for him on the 40th day, and then serve a memorial service.
Memorial service
Moreover, relatives can order and celebrate the Divine Liturgy in the church, and then serve a memorial service at the grave of the deceased. This is what they do quite often.
How to throw a funeral dinner
On this day, relatives and friends of the deceased usually organize a dinner in his memory. It should be said that this is another type (along with prayer) of serving the soul of the deceased, namely, alms for him. Only here you need to follow some simple rules.
Firstly, such a dinner should be held decently, without excessively strong drinks and indecent, stupid laughter, which usually occurs after their excessive consumption. Secondly, from time to time relatives should remember and encourage other diners to remember the deceased for the repose of the deceased, and also ask for their prayers for him in the future. Then such a memorial dinner will do him good.
Thirdly, almsgiving should not be limited to just this lunch. If possible, you should give a penny to the poor with the words: “For the repose of God’s servant (name),” then this alms will be counted as a virtue to both the deceased and the one who gave it.
Some people wonder what can be prepared for a funeral dinner? The answer is very simple - you can cook any dishes, there are no restrictions on meals. But there is a tradition of serving on the table exactly those dishes that the deceased or deceased loved during his lifetime.
If the commemoration falls on a fast day according to the Orthodox calendar, then it is better to abstain from meat dishes, replacing them with fish, cereals, vegetables and fruits.
Funeral poems
It was already indicated above that poetry would be extremely inappropriate at a funeral. A memorial speech for 40 days, 1 year may contain a small poetic inclusion. These could be the words of great poets or lines from an epitaph. Memorial poems for the anniversary of death mostly contain warm words that can be attributed to the personality of the deceased, and to a lesser extent condolences and bitterness. Examples include:
When the parents leave, the light in the window fades forever. My father’s house is empty and maybe I dream about it much more often. * * * We know that it is impossible to return you, Your deeds are an eternal memory, And only your pure soul is with us, You illuminate our path of life. * * * Sleep, my angel, calmly and sweetly. Eternity will take you into its arms. You held yourself with dignity and steadfastly survived these hellish torments. * * * On this day, full of heartache, We sympathize with your misfortune, Our life, unfortunately, is not eternal, Every day we are getting closer to the line... We sympathize... Strength of spirit We wish you at this moment, May the earth rest in peace to your loved ones, May The Almighty protects you from troubles. * * * When you left, the light dimmed, And time suddenly stopped. But they wanted to live together forever... Well, why did it all happen?! * * * Let no one disturb your serene sleep forever, Nothing can disturb the oblivion of eternal peace. * * * Thank you, dear, for being in the world! Thank you for loving me. For all the years that we lived together. I ask you not to forget me.
We remember, dear, and we grieve, A cold wind blows through our hearts. We love you forever, No one can replace you. * * * How we loved - only the Gods know. Only we knew how we suffered. After all, we went through all the hardships with you, But we could not step over death... * * * In this vicious circle - twist it or not - It will not be possible to find the end and the beginning. Our role in this world is to come and go. Who will tell us about the goal, about the meaning of the path? * * * O Lord, there are no sins and atrocities greater than Thy mercy! To the slave of the earth and vain desires, forgive the sins for his/her sorrows! * * * What was his life like? - Heavy sleep. What is death? - Awakening from terrible dreams. Woke up, he smiled - And again, perhaps, a dream began there. * * * You left and it immediately began to snow. May you have a good time there. Let a soft white blanket cover the Earth, where you are no longer there... * * * Without chasing meaningless glory, keeping love in his heart, He left, but managed to leave us a bright motive of Eternal music * * * This order is unshakable. The passage of time is eternal. May your serene sleep be quiet and sweet!
Funeral poems are published in the newspaper as condolences. Words at the wake should not contain ambiguous phrases. Extremely clear and understandable lines for all those present will be the most appropriate and correct.
Brief and complete prayer for the deceased on the 40th day
It should be remembered that a person passes into another world with the baggage of virtues and sins that he committed during life. After death, as a rule, he cannot add anything to this baggage, because he can no longer do good or evil (with the rare exception of subsequent sins).
But relatives can do prayers and good deeds in his memory. And all this is put on that scale of God’s justice, where the goods of the deceased himself lie. And this cup, according to their zeal, can outweigh. And the one who on the first day after death would have been condemned to hell, on the fortieth day, thanks to these prayers and alms of relatives and friends, is awarded heaven.
And even if the sins of our loved ones are so grave that we cannot pray for them, then in this case their hellish punishment, according to our prayers and alms, will be less. And if we couldn’t pray for them in forty days, then perhaps we can pray for them for the rest of our lives, during which, if possible, we need to pray for them!
Constant personal prayer for our deceased loved ones should be like this:
“Rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name).”
You can read a more extensive prayer for the deceased on the 40th day:
Remember, O Lord our God, in the faith and hope of the life of Thy eternal newly departed servant (or Thy servant), the name, and as good and a lover of mankind, forgiving sins and consuming iniquities, weaken, forsake and forgive all his voluntary and involuntary sins, exposing him to Thy holy second coming into the communion of Thy eternal blessings, for the sake of the One who has faith in Thee, the true God and Lover of mankind. For You are the resurrection and the life and the rest of Your servant, named Christ our God. And we send glory to You, with Your beginningless Father and with the Most Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages, Amen.
On this fortieth day, it is advisable, if possible, to constantly pray with this prayer for the deceased, while avoiding all vain affairs and unnecessary gossip that only distract from prayer. And, of course, it is completely indecent, as has already been said, stupid drunken laughter, as well as irritation, anger, and scolding of relatives who, sometimes, are deprived of the inheritance of the deceased. All this certainly insults his memory!
In what form is it appropriate to express condolences?
A short version of the speech
At a wake, words of encouragement are appropriate. If a person did not know the deceased personally, he can say:
- “Sorry for your loss”;
- “We all mourn with you”;
- “I'm sure he was a good man”;
- “This death has knocked us all down, hold on”;
- “He is in a better world”;
- "We will remember."
- “You are not alone in your grief.”
A loved one is remembered by reading a short speech for 3-4 minutes to those gathered. It mentions all the best that was associated with the deceased during his lifetime. The speech can be read from a piece of paper, there is nothing reprehensible in this. It can be presented in prose or poetry. It is appropriate to give a long speech only if the person is a close relative or speaks on his behalf, without forgetting to warn about it.
If condolences are offered at the entrance to a room on the threshold of which a relative is standing greeting the guests, then a few words are enough. Catholics make solemn speeches at the pulpit, while Orthodox Christians usually say words for 40 days after death and most often in prose at the funeral table.
I dreamed about a deceased relative: what does this mean?
Usually superstitions on this basis also include dreams involving the deceased, especially on the 40th day. It should be noted that our dreams happen for three reasons: from God; from demons and from the flesh. The first occur rarely and on special occasions; the second - more often, the third even more often. So usually such a dream is either from demons or from the flesh. Therefore, you should not believe these dreams, and especially not be afraid because of them. In general, we should not believe any of our dreams, because such faith is most often, as has already been said, ordinary superstition!
If the dream is from God, then He will not be offended by our reasonable unbelief, but, on the contrary, will praise us. And if He wants to somehow enlighten us with such a dream, then He will repeat it a second and even a third time. This is where you need to think, turn to a priest or elder for advice: what does this dream mean? Sometimes dreams really are prophetic, in particular, when our relative from that world wants to warn us about something and warn us against something. But here, as has already been said, the advice of a spiritual person is needed.
Interesting fact
It is interesting to note that for Catholics, according to their tradition, the special day of remembrance is not the fortieth, but the thirtieth day after death. And Muslims, for example, of Tatarstan are still arguing about the commemoration in the 3rd; 7th and 40th days after death.
What's next?
So, the one who reads this can easily understand how useful mortal memory is for a Christian during life, freeing him from the fear of death. But it gives hope for future eternal life and forces us to work here on earth for the sake of acquiring it in the Kingdom of God. And how harmful for an atheist is his unfounded belief in the mortality of the soul, depriving him of hope for a future rebirth and always, throughout his entire earthly life, keeping him under the murderous aim of the absurd fear of death.
But even after their death, their fate is even more different. A Christian goes into the future life with true, Orthodox faith and many good deeds that he has done, while an atheist, as a rule, is completely deprived of all this. Moreover, a Christian has the same believing relatives and friends who remember him in the above manner, making up for his unworthiness and atonement for his sins.
And an atheist can only wish that, by the grace of God, he had such relatives! But even then his fate will most likely be sad.
So what will we choose?!
Archpriest Georgy Gorodentsev
Funeral prayers
Prayer for the repose of the father
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are a keeper of the orphans, a refuge for those who mourn, and a comforter for those who cry.
I come running to you, orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my parent (name), who gave birth and raised me, and his soul, which has gone to You with true faith in You and with steadfastness with hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept us into Your Kingdom of Heaven .
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and kindness from him. We know, Lord, for You are the Judge of this world, You punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of the for them, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment the deceased, unforgettable for me, Your servant, my parent (name), but forgive him all his sins his voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance created by him in his life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him and deliver him from eternal torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to put him in order with brighter, in a cooler and calmer place, with all the saints , from here all sickness, sorrow and sighing will escape.
Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Your servant (name) my warm prayer and reward him with Your reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He taught me. Most of all, lead You, your Lord, in reverence to pray to You, in You alone I will trust troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for his concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth of the prayers he brings for me before You and for all the gifts he asked me from You, reward him with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joy me in Thy eternal Kingdom.
For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages . Amen.
Prayer for the deceased mother
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are a keeper of the orphans, a refuge for those who mourn, and a comforter for those who cry.
I come running to you, orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from my mother (name), who gave birth and raised me, and her soul, which has gone to You with true faith in You and with you With great hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, accept us into Your Kingdom of Heaven .
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and kindness from me. We know, Lord, for You are the Judge of this world, You punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of the for them, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment Your deceased servant, unforgettable for me, my mother (name), but forgive her all her sins her voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance created by her in her life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on her and deliver eternal torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my departed mother in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to order you in the place of your ashes, in a cooler and calmer place, with all the saints , from here all sickness, sorrow and sighing will escape.
Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Thy servant (name) my warm prayer and reward her with Thy reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, which taught me Most of all, lead You, your Lord, in reverence to pray to You, in You alone I will trust troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for her concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth of her prayers for me before You and for all the gifts she asked me from You, reward her with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings With joys and joys in Your eternal Kingdom.
For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages . Amen.
Children's prayer for deceased parents
Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are a keeper of the orphans, a refuge for those who mourn, and a comforter for those who cry.
I come running to you, orphan, groaning and crying, and I pray to you: hear my prayer and do not turn your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes. I pray to You, merciful Lord, quench my grief over separation from my parents (their names), who gave birth and raised me, and their souls, who have gone to You with true faith in You and with firm hope I wait for Your love for mankind and mercy, accept me into Your Kingdom Heavenly.
I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and kindness from them. We know, Lord, for You are the Judge of this world, You punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even up to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of the for them, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment your departed unforgettable servants, my parents (names), but forgive them all sins and them, voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, created by them in their lives here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on them and deliver them from eternal torment.
You, merciful Father of fathers and children! Grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my departed parents in my prayers, and to beg Thee, the righteous Judge, to put them in order in a brighter place, in a cooler and calmer place, with all the saints , from here all sickness, sorrow and sighing will escape.
Merciful Lord! Accept this day for Your servants (names) my warm prayer and reward them with Your reward for the labors and care of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as those who taught me the same most eagerly lead You, your Lord, in reverence to pray to You, in You alone I place my trust troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments; for their concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth they bring for me, prayers before You and for all the gifts they asked me from You, reward them with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal Kingdom.
For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages . Amen.
How to behave and what to say at a wake on the day of a funeral?
A heavy burden falls on the shoulders of the relatives of the deceased: organizing the funeral and knowing the rules of behavior at such events.
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Organization. For a fee, all events will be planned by a special service.
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- Invite relatives, friends, and colleagues of the deceased to the wake. If a family does not want someone at the funeral, they should let the unwanted guest know.
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Set up a small first aid station. There are a lot of tears and grief at the funeral, and fainting is not excluded.
Widower's prayer for his dead wife
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! In contrition and tenderness of my heart I pray to You: rest, O Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), in Your Heavenly Kingdom. Lord Almighty! You blessed the marital union of husband and wife, when you said: It is not good for man to be alone, let us create for him a helper for him. You have sanctified this union in the image of the spiritual union of Christ with the Church. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You have blessed You to unite me in this holy union with one of Your handmaids. It was your good and wise will that you deigned to take away from me this servant of yours, whom you gave to me as a helper and companion of my life. I bow before Your will, and I pray to You with all my heart, accept my prayer for Your servant (name), and forgive her, even if you sin in word, deed, thought, knowledge and ignorance; Love earthly things more than heavenly things; If you care more about the clothing and adornment of your body than about the enlightenment of the clothing of your soul; or even careless about your children; If you upset someone by word or deed; If there is a grudge in your heart against your neighbor or condemn someone or something else that such evil ones have done. Forgive her all this, for she is good and philanthropic; for there is no man who will live and not sin. Do not enter into judgment with Your servant, as Your creation, do not condemn her to eternal torment for her sin, but have mercy and mercy according to Your great mercy. I pray and ask You, Lord, to grant me strength throughout the days of my life, without ceasing to pray for Your departed servant, and even until the end of my life, to ask for her from You, the Judge of the whole world, forsaking her sins. Yes, because You, God, have placed a crown of honor on her head, crowning her here on earth; So crown me with Your eternal glory in Your Heavenly Kingdom, with all the saints who rejoice there, so that together with them He may forever sing Your all-holy name with the Father and the Holy Spirit Home Amen.
Widow's prayer for her deceased husband
Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your tribulation, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I resort to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer, offered to You with tears. You, Lord, Master of all, have deigned to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was your good and wise will to take away this servant of yours from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend. Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. As you once accepted two mites from widows, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word or deed, whether through knowledge or ignorance, do not destroy him without cause. horse him and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to the greatness of Your mercy and according to the multitude of Your bounty, weaken and forgive all his sins and do it with Your saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life. I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, for the forgiveness of everything. his sins and his entry into the heavenly abodes, which you have prepared for those who love Ty. Even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit are Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; Moreover, his faith, even in Thee, instead of works was imputed to him: for there is no man who will live and will not sin, You are the only one besides sin, and Your righteousness is righteousness forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You will hear my prayer and will not turn Your face away from me. Seeing the widow weeping, you were moved with compassion, and you raised up her son for the burial of the son: so having mercy, calm and calm my sorrow. For You opened the door of Your mercy to Your servant Theophilus, who went to You, and You forgave him for his sins through the prayers of Your Holy Church, heeding the prayers and kindly to the shame of his wife: I pray to You, accept my prayer for Your servant and bring him into eternal life. For You are our hope. You are God, who has mercy and saves, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Parents' prayer for the repose of their son or daughter
Lord Jesus Christ, our God, Lord of life and death, Comforter of the afflicted! With a contrite and tender heart I run to You and pray to You: remember. Lord, in Your Kingdom of Your departed servant (your servant), my child (name), and create for him (her) eternal memory. You, Lord of life and death, have given me this child. It was your good and wise will to take it away from me. Blessed be Thy name, Lord. I pray to You, Judge of heaven and earth, with Your endless love for us sinners, forgive my departed child all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word, in deed, in food and ignorance. Forgive, O Merciful One, our parental sins, so that they may not remain on our children: for we have sinned many times before You, we have not kept many, we have not done what You commanded. m. Even if our deceased child, ours or ours, for the sake of guilt, lived in this life, working for the world and his flesh, and no more for You, the Lord and your God: if you have loved the delights of this world , and not more than Thy Word and Thy commandments, even if delivered the sweets of life, and not more than the contrition for one’s sins, and in intemperance, vigil, fasting and prayer have been given over to oblivion - I pray to Thee earnestly, forgive me, most gracious Father, my child, all of these are forgive and forgive his sins, even if you have done other evil things in this life . Christ Jesus! You raised up the daughter of Jairus through the faith and prayer of her father. You healed the daughter of the Canaanite wife through faith and the request of her mother: hear my prayer, and do not despise my prayer for my child. Forgive, Lord, forgive all his sins and, having forgiven and cleansed his soul, eradicate eternal torment and place him with all Your saints, who have pleased You from time immemorial, where there is no sickness or pain al, not sighing, but endless life: like there is no man like He will live and will not sin, but You are the only One besides all sin: so that when you judge the world, my child will hear Your most beloved voice: come, you blessed of My Father, and I will inherit Take the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For You are the Father of mercies and generosity. You live and our resurrection, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen.
Procedure: funeral rules
- The meal is simple, especially if there is a general church fast. Even if there is no fasting, you should avoid eating meat and under no circumstances donate it to the temple.
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A funeral speech is a sad speech, but not melancholy. Man has not ceased to exist, he is simply now in a different form and world.
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There is a category of people whom the Church does not remember and does not serve a memorial service for:
Important! Almsgiving is a good deed, which, like prayer, affects the eternal life of the deceased.
