Confession is a sacred rite that has enormous power and utmost importance in Orthodoxy. It is not just a list of committed sins, but is also a real test for the conscience of every Christian; it allows you to analyze negative thoughts and actions in detail, and avoid their repetition in the future. Having confessed, a person deeply cleanses his spirit, receives inner liberation and becomes closer to the Creator.
How to prepare for confession
For a woman awaiting her next confession or ritual before communion, it is important to prepare for it correctly. You need to start preparing at least a week before your visit to church.
Before going to church, Orthodox priests advise:
- carefully study the instructions of spiritual fathers on confession and repentance;
- make a detailed list of negative deeds (when writing down bad deeds, you should focus only on yourself, and not look for excuses and culprits in other people);
- strengthen the prayer rule, read the Penitential Canon, the canons to the Mother of God and the Guardian Angel daily (in the morning and before bed).
You should begin confession with a calm soul and a clear conscience. To do this, you need to ask for forgiveness from everyone who was offended by word or deed, as well as forgive your offenders and ill-wishers.
In the future, it is recommended to analyze every day, sort out which actions turned out to be positive and which could be considered sinful. This will help you be more attentive to your own thoughts and actions, and prevent negative actions and the accumulation of spiritual dirt.
Confession to a priest: why is it considered that this is the beginning of a new life?
Confession to a priest
Sinfulness is dirt, and confession is cleansing from spiritual dirt. Sin is poison for the soul. By repentance you can be cured of the poison of sin. That is why it is believed that this is the beginning of a new life. To heal his soul, a person needs to go to church. Many people ask the question: why is it necessary to confess in church and in the presence of a priest? God hears everyone who has sinned, but asking him for forgiveness will not be enough. Eg:
- If a person falls into the mud and is ashamed of it, then he will not become cleaner.
- For purification you will need an external source of water.
- To cleanse your soul of sin, you need to go to church and perform the washing process - the Sacrament of Confession.
It is not always easy to forgive the repentant, but it is so necessary to repent to the one who was offended. The most important thing is to repent before the Heavenly Father, because only he gives salvation. Only before Him does man have many sins.
Carrying out the ritual
During the confession of sins, the analogue contains an Orthodox cross and the Gospel, symbolizing the invisible presence of the Savior. Before the ceremony begins, the priest may ask the laywoman some questions. Most often they concern how often prayers are performed and whether important church rules are observed. When confessing, you need to speak in simple words, avoiding complex, confusing phrases and unclear hints.
If the ritual is not being performed for the first time and there are old sins on the conscience, they must be mentioned. Repeated transgression is considered a fairly serious offense and in particularly difficult situations requires the imposition of penance (temporary excommunication of a Christian from the holy sacraments and God's grace). After penance, special measures are provided. This includes strict fasting and constant reading of special prayer texts.
It often happens that at the end of confession the clergyman tears up the list of sins. This means that the sacrament is over, and the repentant has received absolution. An epitrachelion is placed on the head of a believer - a symbol of the return of the Lord's mercy. After this, you need to kiss the cross and the Gospel, confirming your desire to strictly follow the Christian commandments.
In some cases, for confession, the priest needs to be not in the church, but at the place of residence of the Christian. This becomes necessary when a person is seriously ill or on his deathbed.
What does the priest ask in confession?
The priest himself asks the person during confession: “WHAT HAS HE SINNED BEFORE THE CREATOR?” .
There is no need to spell out everything in detail; it is worth listing all sins with the correct definitions that are inherent in the church. The clergyman himself can begin to ask everything in detail, only in this case it is necessary to tell all the details of the situation.
At the end of the confession, the priest will ask whether all sins were revealed to the Creator, or whether something else was hidden. Usually he asks whether a person repents of his sins? Is there any regret about the actions taken? Will the person commit similar actions in the future? You need to answer all the priest’s questions. After this, he will cover the believer with the stole (an element of priestly vestments) and read the permissive prayer words over him.
A detailed list of women's sins
When repenting, it is worth mentioning the most important events, omitting minor and unimportant actions. The acts that women should confess to are divided into several main types. The list of major sins includes:
- pride. It means an unwillingness to lead a simple worldly life, a contemptuous attitude towards others, disrespect for neighbors, an unwillingness to submit to God’s will, to be merciful, meek and humble;
- vanity. Such a sin consists of excessive attention to one’s appearance, preference for material values over spiritual ones, hypocrisy and pretense, the desire to gain fame and draw material income from it;
- love of money. It affects those who want to accumulate personal property and admire it, dream of wealth, strive for it dishonestly, and refuse to help the poor;
- anger. This sin looks like irritability, grumpiness, conflict, and a desire to get into arguments. Anger also includes inciting hatred, physical and moral violence against the weaker;
- adultery. This includes intimate relationships outside of legal marriage, participation in immodest conversations, masturbation, intemperance during fasting and church holidays, the practice of various kinds of perversions, unclean thoughts, indecent behavior, wearing seductive clothes, provocative makeup;
- gluttony. For people susceptible to such sins, carnal food comes first. Gluttonians do not observe fasts, eat before morning prayer, strive to eat refined rather than simple dishes, are satiated with food beyond measure, and are addicted to tea, coffee, and alcohol;
- despondency and laziness. The first sin is manifested in the lack of joy from life given by the Lord, the inability to notice the miracles created by God around oneself. Laziness takes the form of constant drowsiness, reluctance to work honestly, and a desire for frequent celebrations and feasts.
The list of sins for women can be supplemented by narcissism, passion for esotericism, taking the life of a child (abortion), and violation of marital fidelity.
When preparing for confession, you should remember: in case of sincere repentance and humility, the Lord forgives all sins committed. The only thing that cannot be forgiven is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, lack of faith, resistance to God's help.
Types of sins for confession
In Scripture, sins are divided into types, depending on by whom and against whom they were committed: against God, neighbors, against oneself, female, male and children's violations of Holy Scripture.
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The most terrible violations against the Lord are considered to be unbelief and doubts hidden in the souls of the laity. Scripture says that the symbol of faith is the cross on the body, and its absence is disrespect for God. Likewise, entering a temple or monastery outside the canon (in jeans or without a headdress for women) is a manifestation of indifference to God’s rules. In Christianity, it is forbidden to use the name of God in phrases or exclamations, only in prayers and appeals.
Fans of sects, magic rituals and gambling violate God's grace. The priests assure that those who do not attend church and do not follow the rules of Christianity must repent. It is worth indicating what exactly you feel guilty about and why you repent.
IMPORTANT! If we take modern life, then the new sin has become excessive exposure to entertainment through television and the Internet.
Most often, people sin against their family, loved ones and friends: anger, irritability, stinginess. To the list of this type of violation, add: non-repayment of debts, theft and envy, abortion and slander.
Foul language and narcissism are considered heaviest in the hierarchy of sins. If the goal of your life is to get rich or you like to abuse alcohol and go out on the side, you are committing a sin against yourself.
For women, the list varies. Today, many churches publish their own leaflets; you need to believe only those that contain a link to the Russian Orthodox Church. It is especially important for a woman to confess to one confessor. Subtle issues of contraception are also discussed with the confessor and each woman chooses the path that is closer to God and her family.
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Intimate life before marriage is also considered a violation of God's Law. Thoughts and desires about other men, flaring passion - all these are demonic acts. Women should not dress revealingly and be afraid of their appearance and the aging process.
Among popular male violations, priests name deviation from military service, laziness and pride, fornication and drunkenness, gambling and impudence.
There are separate rules for children's confession. They do not confess until they are seven years old. The burden of becoming familiar with the rules of confession lies with parents and spiritual fathers. Even small children themselves write a list of their actions and determine what they did wrong. You only need to help your child compile a list at the child’s request. There is no need to point out his mistakes and sins; he himself talks about what he admits and feels guilty about. At the end of each confession, it is recommended to ask God to show the way in the future. (see how Matrona of Moscow helps?)
Sample confessional text
You can write your confession on a piece of paper in your own words. In this case, you need to make a short introduction in which it is customary to ask for forgiveness of existing sins. At the end of confession, you must sincerely turn to God with a request for forgiveness of sins and repent of everything you have done.
Below is an example of a confessional text for women.
“I confess, the sinful servant of God (name), before the face of the Lord God Almighty in all my sins, committed in deed, word or thought.
She sinned in that she was proud, conflicted, irritable, wanted to live in wealth, but did not work for it properly, despised simplicity, did not respect her neighbors, did not fully follow God's will, did not learn humility, was misled by her appearance, decorated herself to attract male attention.
She also sinned in that she put material things above all else, did not develop spiritually, mocked the weak and poor, envied other people’s successes and wealth, wanted harm to other people, did not abstain during fasting, did not honor holy holidays, wanted to eat gourmet food, smoked and used alcohol.
I sinned with laziness, idle talk, jealousy, gossip, and discussion of others. She wondered for the future, believed horoscopes, mentioned the name of God in vain, prayed rarely and inattentively, did not read the Holy Scriptures, did not go to church services, and did not have due respect for Divine icons and shrines.
I sincerely repent of my sins, I ask the Lord to forgive me for the evil I have committed and I promise not to repeat bad deeds in the future. I ask God to give me strength to avoid new sins. I promise to make every effort to henceforth live as a true Christian should and follow the Divine commandments. Amen".
The difference between general confession and ordinary confession
Every churched person participates in the Sacraments and confesses every 1-3 weeks. These are usually short lists, since they cover a short period from one confession to the next.
Every churchgoer goes to confession once every 1-3 weeks.
The general confession is complete, since it recalls and names all the sins of one’s entire life, more precisely, those committed starting from the age of 7. Often a person simply forgets his sins and offenses, and sometimes he does not even know that he has violated a commandment by his word or deed.
Ignorance of the law does not exempt you from liability in the future. When a person goes through the airy ordeals of demonic charters, he will see all the smallest details of his sins, even those forgotten or committed out of ignorance. Therefore, it is imperative to undergo general confession. This rite will help cleanse all corners of the soul from sinful filth.
Rules of conduct in church
The day and time of confession must be agreed upon with the priest in advance. You need to come to the temple on time, in modest closed clothes, without makeup on your face, with your head covered and hair tied up. You should not enter church wearing high-heeled shoes that make harsh sounds.
When approaching the priest, you should bow your head, fold your hands in front of you in a cross shape and ask for a blessing. Then place your head on the Bible and two fingers of your right hand on the Holy Crucifix. After this, the clergyman covers the repentant woman with an epitrachelion, asks her name given at baptism, and asks her to list all the sins she has committed.
You should speak calmly with the priest, answering all the questions he asks, avoiding arguments and raising your voice. The ritual implies maximum frankness, so there is no need to hide sins during confession. If this rule is not observed, the innermost meaning of the confession is completely lost, the believer is deprived of God's forgiveness, and his soul does not receive purification.
What to say in confession? Detailed confession of sins to the priest
How to start a note on paper for confession: what words to write in order to repent correctly?
A huge number of people visit the temple, but not everyone has the courage to speak out loud about their sinfulness and what they have done. First, you should approach the clergyman and ask him to set a time for confession. When you meet, you can have a one-on-one conversation. Before the rite of Confession, you need to read the Penitential Canon. It is he who will set a Christian in the right mood and remove all bad thoughts.
How to start a note on paper for confession? What words should I write to properly repent?
- You can write first, as you will say: “BLESS, FATHER!”
Then jot down a list of sins on a blank sheet of paper so that you don’t forget anything later due to excessive worry. Not only the seven deadly sins are included in this list. There are many others:
For ladies it could be:
For men:
If you have any of these sins or maybe others, write on a piece of paper that is prepared for confession. Below is even more useful information. Read on.
The role and example of general confession
Saint John Chrysostom said: “Repentance opens heaven to a person, leads him into paradise, and defeats the devil.” Reviewing his entire life allows a person to analyze and understand where he stumbled, where he deviated, what influenced his actions, and most importantly, to realize all his mistakes and repent. General confession allows you to cleanse yourself as much as possible, to remove the burden of sins that were committed even many years ago and have already been forgotten. The more detailed a person confesses, the more he remembers, the easier it will be for him to go through the aerial ordeals.
You need to prepare for the Sacrament of Repentance by considering your personal actions, but it is useful to have a sample text, a sample of a general confession, in order to see what you need to pay attention to and how to build your story. There are different lists of sins, for example, the “Pochaev sheets” compiled in the Lavra, in the Pochaev monastery.
The sample lists are generally the same for men and women, but there are some differences covering family life. In particular, women must obey their husbands, and men must love and take care of their wives without giving power over them. Gender differences also affect the list of sins associated with a person’s appearance.
About the Ten Commandments and Sins Against Them
To make it easier to systematize everything that has been done over many years and not miss anything, there is a practice of constructing a confession according to the Ten Commandments. In addition, you can make a confession for twenty ordeals.
First commandment
Man is called to honor and know the Lord. You need to have faith in Him and Him, hope in Him, love for Him and reverence. It is important to remember that God sees all the deeds and thoughts of a person, and also to confess Him before people without fear or fear.
Some sins against this commandment:
Second Commandment
This commandment prohibits all forms of idolatry. People can worship idols, or they can worship money, human glory, delicious food. Some sins against the second commandment:
Third Commandment
It is forbidden to pronounce the Name of the Lord in vain, as a joke, in idle conversations, or to use it for an oath. Sins against the commandment:
Fourth Commandment
This commandment calls on everyone to devote one day a week, in New Testament times - Sunday (Little Easter), to God. This means spending Sundays in prayer, attending worship services, reading spiritual books and Holy Scripture. In addition to Sunday, you need to honor all holidays and observe the multi-day and one-day fasts established by the Church.
Fifth Commandment
This commandment commands us to honor our parents. For its fulfillment, prosperity and longevity are promised. Parents need to be loved, respected, obeyed, obeyed, not upset, and taken care of. In addition to blood parents, this applies to spiritual parents, educators, and guardians. One must also obey civil authority, unless this goes against the Law of God.
The fifth commandment is to honor your parents
Sixth Commandment
Murder and suicide are forbidden to a person. In the modern world, this sin is widespread in the form of abortion - the taking of the life of an unborn, defenseless child by its own parents.
In addition to physical murder, a sin against this commandment is allowing someone to die by inaction, killing a person with a word, leading to suicide, spiritual murder - seducing a person onto a sinful, disastrous path in life.
Seventh Commandment
Eighth Commandment
This commandment prohibits any form of theft, appropriation of someone else's property. In addition to theft, robbery, this includes sacrilege - appropriation of property belonging to the Church, bribery, as well as:
Ninth Commandment
It is prohibited to tell any lies, slander, give false testimony in court, or make false denunciations. For an Orthodox person, any lie is unacceptable, even if it does not cause harm to another person. You cannot condemn or reproach anyone. It is important to fight your own language, reject gossip, ridicule, and reproaches.
The Ninth Commandment prohibits telling lies.
Tenth Commandment
It is prohibited not only to do bad things to your neighbors, but even to entertain evil thoughts about other people. The sin against the commandment is envy. Wishing evil to your neighbor in your soul, without having joy about his achievements, you can gradually reach the point of evil deeds and sabotage.
Surrounded by yellow walls. Confession of a girl who went through a psychiatric hospital
This is the story of a Tyumen woman, a simple girl who, due to life circumstances, spent some time within the walls of a psychiatric hospital. The story is both sad and harsh, evoking pity and horror. A story told in one breath and described as simply and at the same time realistically.
...I came here by mistake. At least that's what I think. And I think a short stay in the hospital will leave a much more tangible mark than the reason for hospitalization. It's just a pity that it's not light at all. Anyone can enter the “yellow house”. It didn’t matter what you did, crushing devils on the walls or jumping naked over a fire. Or, for a number of reasons, he decided to say goodbye to life. Of course, you think this won't affect you. Do you know how it will be?
...You will come to your senses for the first time in the ambulance. The question “Where are you taking me?” will hang in the air. You will only find out about this when you see the checkpoint, find yourself in the emergency department and are given an agreement for voluntary hospitalization. It won't be possible to refuse. Have you ever tried to refuse a psychiatrist?
…As soon as you get here, they will immediately take away all your personal belongings: phone, jewelry, watches and even clothes. You will be washed and given a hospital gown, which you will wear until the first transfer. But first you will be sent to the isolation ward. Not because you're violent. You'll have to donate blood. If coronavirus is not detected, welcome to the department. Were you waiting for this?
...In the isolation ward you will have your last chance to be alone with yourself. True, if no one does it at the same time. Otherwise, you will have to wait to be moved to the department with him. And yes, if he has coronavirus, what is the chance that you won’t get infected? However, you won't stay in the isolation ward for long. I waited for three hours. It is forbidden to go out, the toilet is an ordinary potty. So, in such conditions, being alone is a big luck. I was not lucky. Although now it seems that I would gladly stay in this isolation ward forever.
Two branches. I called them as simple as possible for myself: “for the violent” and “for the calm.” My path lay in the second. But I also had to go through the section for violent people. It's noisy there, very noisy. Someone is screaming, someone is laughing, the orderlies are trying to calm someone down and escort them back to the ward. My neighbors from the detention center stayed here. That is, for three hours I was in the company of two violent patients.
...At first glance, everything here is the same as in ordinary hospitals: general wards, scheduled lunch, medications. Only at the same time you will notice that there are no doors in the chambers, empty openings. You will understand that your favorite smartphone, the last thing that connects you with the world of normal people, will be taken away immediately. And they will give it out exactly at 16:00 and only for half an hour. This is one of the reasons why I didn't take a single photo. Secondly, you will very quickly stop thinking in terms of ordinary people, their values will lose meaning for you. You will also find that there are no forks at all; they are dangerous for crazy people. There are no stalls in the toilets here. Probably so that he would not manage to commit suicide. It is here that you will first understand how the atmosphere literally presses on you.
...The morning will begin with noise: the wards are preparing for breakfast. You will have to eat right here, in the room, behind the bedside table. Therefore, be prepared that the sound of your alarm clock will be the sound of an aluminum spoon hitting the walls of a metal bowl.
...Medicines will be given twice a day: after breakfast and before bedtime. After taking the pills for the first time, all you have to do is wait for lunch and have nothing to do. You can walk along the long corridor back and forth, pretending that you are taking a walk. You can stand in front of the mirror in the middle of the department and admire yourself. It's the only one here. As does the clock hanging directly above him. You can go to the “leisure room” - a corner with an old bookcase, a radio. I don’t recommend communicating with anyone, people here are unpredictable. One minute he’s talking to you, the next he withdraws into himself. However, there are no aggressive ones, they are eliminated after isolation, so don’t be afraid.
...The main value is half an hour of communication with a smartphone. You have no time for games, no time for photographs. You will eagerly listen to the voices of loved ones left behind the fence. You will absorb information from the world of normal people. The brain really lacks information, you go crazy without it, if by some miracle you haven’t already. God, what a blessing this is - a flow of knowledge, information, gossip, spam. Everything that irritates in the normal world becomes the main value here.
...There are seven of you in the room. Don’t try to explain about personal boundaries, many people don’t understand. After about a month of staying here, any conventions of personal boundaries are blurred. Nobody cares that you want to be alone. Someone will always get into the conversation and ask your name a thousand times; due to disorders, stress and pills, memory problems begin. Someone will simply lie and stare at one point, minute after minute, hour after hour, distracted only by eating. Someone will run to the leisure room.
...I spent my time, which dragged on for a hellishly long time, in the library, unless someone came to enjoy the wheezing music from the old radio. The rest of the time I slept. It was as if my body was falling into suspended animation, waiting for the moment when I could get out. The brain, having gotten used to the lack of information, simply went into hibernation. So be prepared, you will sleep a lot. But you will quickly realize that there is little joy in this. Sometimes I tracked down the orderlies, who kept running to the next department to help someone. I was stalking to ask for a phone number to talk to my parents, to ask for a parcel, or simply to find out when I could talk to the doctor on duty so that he could be convinced of my adequacy. And, therefore, he wrote me out.
The only bright spot for me was the sweet tea and the view outside the window. Tea - because it was the only thing that had any taste. And “walks by the windowsill”, because trees are the only thing that connects you with the normal world, not on a schedule and not for half an hour a day.
...Orphans, like all people on the planet, are different. Someone will allow you to knit in the evenings and will even allow you to take knitting needles and threads, while someone will throw out the usual line: “According to the regulations, we have no right...” or “This is not a sanatorium for you.” All your rights are books in the closet, of which only the New Testament and Somerset Maugham miraculously hidden on the shelves are readable. It’s strange that radio isn’t very popular, even though there’s not much else to do.
...You probably think of a mental hospital as a place where people lie in separate rooms, tied hand and foot? Or do they bump into corners like zombies? Maybe this is the case in the department for violent people, but it is not aggression or inhibition that reigns here. Sadness rules everything. All the eyes you see are filled with sadness. All diagnoses are sad. All life stories are sad. However, don’t worry, many people prefer not to talk about the reasons for coming here.
This is not the first time most patients have been here. This is the worst thing. This means recovery and socialization are something unlikely. There was a girl in the room with me. This isn't the first time she's come here either. She said: “We've all met people along the way who have treated us badly. But we must not lose faith in good things.” Deep and pure thought.
...Wake up. People are not treated here. They are isolated here. Saving the normal world from people like us. If patients go outside, they do so with at least the same problems. But more often - with much deeper ones. The mental hospital doesn't give you a solution. It makes the doom worse. The hospital won't tell you goodbye. She will say: “See you, my friend”... However, there is an exception. These are those for whom this is the last haven. Most often, these are simple and unhappy people who have no place in the cruel world of normal people. Often there are patients here whose relatives simply got rid of them. However, you'll be lucky.
Anastasia Ikonnikova talked with the heroine. Photo from Pixabay.
Some points and explanations
It is not necessary to confess at the Liturgy. You can start confession at any convenient time. It is important to realize your sinfulness and the impossibility of correcting yourself without God’s help, to sincerely repent, not to make excuses and not to blame anyone for your own sins.
General confession differs from ordinary confession in that it covers a person’s entire life from the age of 7. There is a lot of spiritual literature to help penitents and examples of confession with a list of sins.
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It's a shame to name a sin to a priest
It happens that the confessor is embarrassed to name a sin. First, remember, which is embarrassing to admit, requires urgent confession. This is the voice of conscience, practically an instruction from God, His call: repent of this. The Lord is waiting, and the priest, believe me, will forget you and the said offense immediately, especially if there are a lot of people.
Usually they hide things related to:
- with betrayals;
- sexual perversions;
- lustful thoughts and dreams;
- handjob;
- participation in orgies, leading a depraved lifestyle.
Secondly, many people have such sins, but do not name them in confession, which ruins their soul. Father, during the period of his service, heard enough of everyone, you won’t amaze him, you won’t confuse him, you won’t push him away with your confession. Most likely, the priest will be happy for you that you mustered up the courage to voice your grave sin. The Lord will immediately forgive and free the soul. The angels in heaven will rejoice. You will fly home as if on wings.
For your information: the Lord created the conditions so that we could accept the redemptive gifts of His feat, that is, be transformed. All the Sacraments, including Confession, are a tool that connects people and God.
What is the will of God?
In the process of preparation, you will come across the phrase that sin is a violation of the will of God. At the moment of baptism, a person (himself or his godparents) makes a vow: to do His will and keep the commandments. They made a promise, and immediately began to break it. First of all, because we don’t know either one or the other:
- The will of God is the sanctification of man.
- Through Moses, the 10 commandments were given to discern sin.
The Law of God (Moses) is the first guide to knowing ourselves, that we have broken almost all the commandments. Not a single one was performed correctly. Many people remember two words from the law: did not kill, did not steal. They consider themselves decent people. This is a primitive approach to the confession of an ignorant sinner. For example, you can kill:
- in a word;
- killing animals for fun rather than for food;
- giving incorrect advice;
- violating safety precautions;
- sending someone else to death in his place;
- having had an abortion, persuading him to do so;
- mocking the weak;
- spreading slander;
- not providing assistance on time, etc.
If a person does not see sins in himself, does not confess, does not lament unseemly actions, does not take communion, does not have a connection with God (prayer) - he violates His will. For it consists in our being sanctified, enlightened, and doing good deeds, that is, striving for righteousness and holiness. Anything that does not contribute to this, except for necessary duties and activities (including rest, holidays, etc.), violates His will.
