Marriage with a non-Christian: pitfalls

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What to do if you are overwhelmed by feelings towards a non-Christian?

“Is marriage with a non-religious person permissible?” - the question is not new, and the Church has a clear answer to it. However, time passes, life does not stand still, the planet is engulfed by the virus of globalization. As a result, today’s young people have much more opportunities to find a spouse among representatives of other faiths than their parents did. Increasingly, young people are moving abroad, increasingly entering into international marriages - and are increasingly faced with the problems of living with people whose cultural and spiritual guidelines are radically different from their own. What pitfalls can await him in such a marriage? Why is the Church so harsh on these issues?

Isn't the Church too strict?

In short, the Church does not approve of marriage with a person of a different faith. Of course, we are now talking about believers, and not those who consider themselves such. If a church-going young man approaches his priest with this question - is it possible or not? - then there is no doubt: the priest will dissuade him from this step. I had a case when a young woman asked what she should do and what to do - she had a relationship with an Azeybarjan Muslim. I said that the Church cannot bless mixed marriages, because the question immediately arises about the children: will they be baptized or convert to Islam? Can she guarantee that she will raise them as Christians? And in such a situation, how can one generally raise mentally healthy children if they see that dad has one faith and mom has another? After all, religious life, even if we touch on its external side, is not a trifle. These are traditions, way of life, certain views and stereotypes of behavior. The child will take first one side, then the other - and this is fraught with not very good consequences for his future life. Of course, a person in love does not think about this, but you need to switch your focus from your loved one and think about the prospects.

Witnesses

First of all, these are people who help those getting married at the ceremony itself. They hold crowns over the heads of the couple, accompany them during the three-fold procession, spread a towel in front of the lectern at the feet of the newlyweds, present rings and collect the donated flowers after the completion of the Sacrament.

In most cases, spouses choose either relatives or close friends as witnesses. Those who agree to such a role become spiritual relatives, who will then no longer be able to marry each other in the future. For a couple, they are like mentors. That is why you should approach your choice with all responsibility.

It is impossible for the witnesses to be unbaptized or of a different religion, unless, of course, you want to follow all the rules.

It is not recommended to take:

parents;
people who live in an unregistered marriage. This is explained by the fact that the church does not welcome such unions;
divorced people, because those who were unable to maintain their own happiness are unlikely to be advisors to anyone.

If there are no suitable candidates in your circle, then it is better to do without witnesses at the wedding. The main thing is to inform the priest who will conduct the ritual about this in advance.

Bride - wife - slave?

The fact is that a girl forms an idea about her future husband during the bouquet and candy period, when her chosen one behaves accordingly. For him, she is a bride who needs to be won; he is ready to promise her anything, the sky in diamonds and so on. And when she becomes a wife, the magic disappears. If we talk about Muslims, in many countries the models of behavior towards the bride and wife are very different. You need to be prepared for the fact that your rights in the family will be minimal. As one Muslim woman said: “My husband is a slave of Allah, and I am a slave of Allah and my husband.” The traditions of the country and faith required that she behave in a strictly regulated manner: in public places she walked a step behind her husband - in no case next to him - did not look at him, and so on.

In some countries, polygamy is allowed - so what should we do? There are frivolous girls who are confident that they will get the place of their beloved wife, but not everything is so simple. As a rule, our girls are not ready for marriage with a Muslim - neither morally, nor culturally, nor religiously, nor mentally. Many do not even suspect what they will have to face there. And then the secret baptism of children begins, an attempt to travel home with the child, legal proceedings and other terrible consequences of rash decisions. Girls need to think whether very conditional family happiness, which can hardly be arranged in this way, is worth such sacrifices.

Yes, there are people who only consider themselves representatives of a different faith, but do not show themselves in any way in religious life - with such people it is easier, but we are talking specifically about people of other faiths. And here, as a priest, I would like to warn women about the consequences and ask them to think carefully before taking such a serious step. After all, everything will have to change, even your faith. I’m talking now not only about Islam - it could just as easily be Buddhism, to which the girl will be gently led by her beloved husband. But we are not nomads in matters of faith! It is impossible to change it for the sake of everyday circumstances. What happens if a Christian woman who becomes a Muslim divorces and marries a Jew? Change your faith again? This is some kind of wandering in the dark and betrayal of one’s faith for the sake of mercantile goals.

Book Apocalypse Wife and Dragon

The red dragon, according to the interpretation of Andrew of Caesarea, is the devil and Satan. Blessed Methodius agrees with him: “The great, dark, seven-headed serpent who captivated a third of the stars, who stood plotting and watching, with the intention of devouring the sick child, is the devil.” In Old Church Slavonic, chermny is a crimson color.

One cannot but agree with this opinion of the holy fathers. And, of course, he didn't need the baby's flesh. The dragon needs to destroy his soul with sins and temptations.

“For their grapes are from the vine of Sodom and from the fields of Gomorrah; Their berries are poisonous, their clusters are bitter; their wine is the poison of dragons and the deadly poison of asps.” Deut.32:33

Throughout Chapter 12 of the book of the Apocalypse, the wife will suffer from the dragon. But she has protection from God, and the dragon will not be able to destroy his wife. Although, many will suffer from her seed and even die from the dragon when he enters into battle with them.

We are all Christians - children of a woman, called to be sons of the Lord God. If we can become like Christ. Not everyone, however, will be able to fulfill their destiny. And many will be prevented from doing this by the red dragon - Satan, who has the evil will to destroy human souls. And who in the last days will purposefully go to war “with the rest of her seed, who keep the commandments of God and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.”

Missionary complex

An important problem of mixed marriages is common ground: culture, religion, mentality. The fewer of them there are between future spouses, the worse it is for the marriage. There should be unity in marriage. The most important thing is spiritual unity. That is why common religious life and movement in the same direction are so important - with them there is great hope that the family will be long-lasting and prosperous.

However, the Apostle Paul teaches: “If a brother has an unbelieving wife, and she agrees to live with him, then he should not leave her; and a wife who has an unbelieving husband, and he agrees to live with her, should not leave him. For an unbelieving husband is sanctified by a believing wife, and an unbelieving wife is sanctified by a believing husband. Otherwise your children would have been unclean, but now they are holy. If an unbeliever wants to get a divorce, let him get a divorce; the brother or sister is not related in such cases; The Lord has called us to peace. Why do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or do you, husband, why do you know if you won’t save your wife?” (1 Cor. 7:12-16).

Many young believers think that they will save their chosen one. They will pray, and the power of their faith will perform a miracle. The main thing here is not to overestimate your capabilities and not pretend to be a great missionary, because many have already broken their spears along this path. You need to treat yourself easier and be more modest. Whatever one may say, problems with children and a split in relationships are a more common situation in a marriage with a non-Christian than his miraculous conversion to Christianity.

In the book of the Apocalypse, the wife is the Holy Apostolic Church, mother

Saint Andrew of Caesarea in his Commentary on the Apocalypse of John the Theologian writes:

Some by “the woman clothed with the sun” meant the Most Holy Theotokos, who suffered much before Her Son was known. But since our Lord was born long before this revelation, the great Methodius, considering this to be inconsistent with the birth of the Lord, takes his wife for the Holy Church. She is ill, regenerating the spiritual into the spiritual and transforming them in appearance and image in the likeness of Christ.” And further: “It is not appropriate to consider Christ Himself as being born again, for the mystery of the incarnation of the Word of God was fulfilled long before the revelation to John. John speaks and prophesies about the present and the future.”
Then he continues: “So, the very necessity forces us to admit that the Church that is sick and gives birth to the redeemed is the Church, as in Isaiah the Spirit testifies about it: “Before you have stomach pain, give birth to it, before it comes to the labor of stomach pain, avoid and give birth to the male sex” ( Isaiah 66:7). Who did you run away from? - Of course, from the serpent to give birth to people - the mental “Zion of the male sex.” Further: “So, Christ is born spiritually in each of us, and therefore the Church wraps us in swaddling clothes and is sick until “Christ is born in us” (Gal. 4:19), so that everyone united with Christ may become Christ.”

The Apostle Paul directly writes about the birth of Christians in pain:

“My children, for whom I am again in the throes of birth, until Christ is formed in you!” Gal.4:19

It is logical, of course, to assume that we are talking about the Church, which in pain gives birth to children for the Lord the Father. And since the Apostle Paul claims that he also feels, as it were, the pangs of birth, it can be argued that in the book of the Apocalypse the woman clothed in the sun is the Holy Apostolic Church mother.

This is what the Hieromartyr Cyprian of Carthage said about the Mother Church:

“She will spread her branches laden with fruit throughout the whole earth; its abundant streams flow into a distant space - despite all this, there remains one head, one beginning, one mother, rich in the abundance of fruitfulness... To whom the Church is not a mother, God is not a Father.”

But if there is a mother, then there are her children. Chapter 12 mentions a male child. It turns out that there is also a female one.

What won't you do for love?

In international marriages, many parents consider it right to give their children the opportunity to choose their faith later, when they grow up. Unfortunately, experience shows: a child growing up in such “freedom”, as a rule, will be an unbeliever. Perhaps he will someday come to faith, but in a very long, roundabout way - although he could have found faith in childhood and not wander in the dark for decades. And how many of these children choose not classical religions, but the occult sphere? This is a big problem.

One experienced priest argued that marriage is a search for happiness. Marriage should give happiness and joy, moving forward together, not tears and constantly adjusting oneself to the framework of someone else’s faith. This may not be clear when you are young, but over the years many things take on unexpectedly greater meaning. That is why it is better to make the right decision at the beginning of a relationship, before things go too far. If Christ is not an empty phrase for you, then it is better to try to look for a chosen one among your fellow believers. It seems to me that an unchurched person raised in respect for the Christian faith is better for marriage than a non-church person - then in the future he can become a parishioner of an Orthodox church (provided that the wife behaves correctly and does not bother her with annoying sermons).

The problem of mixed marriages is very acute now. The Internet is simply screaming about this, and, unfortunately, most often women and children suffer in such situations. There are so many moments that do not pass over time, do not smooth out - on the contrary, they become aggravated and result in spoiled years of life. When you are young, it seems that all this is nonsense, and the main thing is love and feelings. What is so difficult about tolerating some traditions or accepting the principles of life of a loved one? And even if they are new and unusual - what can’t you do for love! But when falling in love passes and family life begins, it turns out that not everything can be accepted and tolerated.

I listened to a psychologist who said: for young women, it is important what others say about them. And an older woman is concerned about her inner world: is she feeling good, is she ready to endure certain circumstances of her life, does she need the sacrifices she makes, and so on. With age, a reassessment of values occurs, and it turns out that romance is not the first place in life. A twenty-year-old fool will probably put her at the forefront, but not a woman whose children have grown up and already have grandchildren.

The book of the Apocalypse, the woman clothed with the sun: a type in the Old Testament

Great sign in the sky! Let's try to figure out who the wife is. In the first book of Genesis there is a mention of the sun, moon and 11 stars when Joseph, the son of Jacob, describes his dream. And this dream is not difficult to understand if you delve into this whole story.

Jacob, the father of Joseph, is the ancestor of Israel who wrestled with God. And the Lord then blessed him, saying, “from now on your name will not be Jacob, but Israel, for you have fought with God, and you will overcome men.” In this episode, God is usually depicted as an Angel; moreover, Jacob claimed that he saw his face, which means He was in a humanoid form.

At some point, feeling that he is exhausted, that he is defeated, Jacob is surprised to discover that no one is going to kill him. They just beat him. Thus he came to know the great goodness of the one with whom he fought. And then Jacob grabbed onto his opponent with all his might. I decided not to let the Strong go until he received the blessing. Because, having actually come to know the great power, the great spirit and the great goodness of the One with whom he fought, Jacob believed that in this way he would become familiar with His greatness.

By that time, he had already received his father's blessing for the birthright. He received it through cunning, while he was born second after Esau. And the firstborn Esau, whom he loved, was to be blessed by his father. Jacob had to work hard to get his father's blessing. Now God himself asked him: “Let me go,” so Jacob clung to him tightly. God asked not because he was weak and could not free himself, but did not want to kill Jacob. Who, even with a damaged hip, did not let go: “I will not let you go until you bless me.”

There was a meeting between man and God face to face. Why did Jacob please God? Perhaps because, having been defeated by the Strong One, he did not become embittered, did not hate Him. And he didn’t turn out to be timid, he didn’t run in fear. Jacob liked this Strong One with whom he wrestled. He began to ask for blessings, trying to join this power. Trying to join God, he received his favor.

It was Jacob who became the progenitor of the entire Israeli people, receiving a blessing from the Lord himself. He gave birth to 12 sons - the ancestors of the 12 tribes of Israel. The daughters, as was customary among the Jews, were not even counted.

So, Jacob had 12 sons, but Joseph became his favorite. That's why his brothers disliked him. One day Joseph had a dream in which “the sun and the moon and eleven stars worshiped him.”

And he saw another dream and told it to his brothers, saying: Behold, I saw another dream: behold, the sun and the moon and eleven stars worship me. And he told his father and his brothers; and his father rebuked him and said to him, “What is this dream that you have seen?” shall I and your mother and your brothers come to bow down to the ground before you? Genesis 37.9-10

From this passage we understand that the sun is his father Jacob - Israel, the moon is the mother of Israel, and the 12 stars are the twelve sons of Jacob. From which, ultimately, the 12 tribes of Israel will come. Although Joseph’s mother had already died by that time, she could no longer bow to her son. But it is clear that with God everyone is alive. And it turns out that this is a collective image of an Israeli mother. Since Jacob had several wives, the twelve sons themselves had different mothers.

There is such a prototype in the Old Testament. But we have a New Testament. Who then is the woman clothed in the sun in the book of the Apocalypse?

What happens when a fairy tale ends

It is clear that most often young girls marry non-believers. They know little about life in another country, about its culture and traditions - and they fall into a trap. My classmate married a Muslim. As a result, she converted to Islam and left for the Gaza Strip, where she works as a dentist. She gave birth to five children and works all day to provide for her family - although her husband is also a doctor, he comes in for appointments a couple of times a week. Eastern men are not always ready to plow to feed their families - unlike our women, who often shoulder work, everyday life, and raising children, without having the right to vote in the family. I don't want to talk about other terrible things that I know about my classmate's life, for example, about the behavior of her children. I don’t know how she finds the strength to accept and survive all this. Believe me, this is simply terrible, and no normal Orthodox woman would want this for herself.

Girls agree to a lot without imagining what marriage is. They see it as a continuation of a beautiful premarital relationship. If the chosen one is not yet poor, then they see such relationships as tempting. Often, Eastern youths also do not drink, do not smoke, play sports, and look good. They treat their mother with respect - and the girl is fascinated, believing that the chosen one will treat her the same way. It is not always so. Eastern young people always have a respectful attitude towards their mother, but it is not a fact that the father of the family treats her the same way. Mom and wife are not the same thing for a young man, but the girl doesn’t know that yet. She sees an eastern prince, impeccable in all respects, and wants to marry him, ready to give birth to children from him. And when she almost falls into slavery, the most “interesting” begins - read what such wives write on the Internet.

It becomes even more interesting when such a girl gives birth to a child. Is she ready for the fact that she will never be the main person for her son or daughter? Does he know that he will always be not even in second place - because dad is the main one in the house, then his family, and then mom, who came from a foreign country? The next question is: how does it expect to develop? Are you ready for the fate of an eternal housewife? What if she wants to somehow realize herself? Is she ready to give birth to many children and focus solely on serving them? Are you ready for the fact that when she is over forty, her husband, according to the Koran, will take a wife fifteen years younger? These questions should be asked even to an unbelieving girl. Let the believer think: how will she lead her spiritual life? How will fasting, prayer, abstinence fit into her married life? Where and how will she receive communion?

Apocalypse woman clothed with the sun: read the text in the source

And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun; under her feet is the moon, and on her head is a crown of twelve stars.
She was pregnant, and screamed from the pain and pangs of birth.
And another sign appeared in heaven: behold, a great red dragon with seven heads and ten horns, and on his heads seven crowns.
His tail carried away a third of the stars from the sky and threw them to the ground. This dragon stood before the woman who was about to give birth, so that when she gave birth, he would devour her baby.
And she gave birth to a male child, who was to rule all nations with a rod of iron; and her child was caught up to God and His throne.
And the wife fled into the desert, where a place had been prepared for her by God, so that they would feed her there for one thousand two hundred and sixty days. And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon, and the dragon and his angels fought against them,
but they did not stand, and no place was found for them in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, the ancient serpent, called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world, was cast out to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.
And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven: Now has come the salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the power of His Christ, because the slanderer of our brethren is cast out, who slandered them before our God day and night.
They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony, and did not love their souls even to death.
So rejoice, O heavens and you who dwell in them! Woe to those who live on land and sea! because the devil has come down to you in great rage, knowing that he has little time left.
When the dragon saw that he had been thrown to the ground, he began to pursue the wife, who gave birth to a male child.
And the woman was given two wings of a great eagle, so that she would fly into the desert to her place from the face of the serpent and there be fed for a time, times and half a time.
And the serpent sent water like a river out of his mouth after his wife, in order to carry her away with the river.
But the earth helped the woman, and the earth opened its mouth and swallowed up the river that the dragon had let out of his mouth.
And the dragon was angry with the woman, and went to make war with the rest of her seed, who keep the commandments of God and have the testimony of Jesus Christ.

What about in the West?

Yes, not everyone marries Muslims, but I dwell on this point in such detail because such marriages are very popular now. Moreover, people most often come to me with questions and talk about the problems of precisely such relationships.

Let’s say a young man or girl finds his soul mate not among representatives of Islam or Judaism, but among Christians - but this church allows same-sex marriage, as is the case with the Anglicans. This means that the children of this couple will live in a society where same-sex relationships are the absolute norm, they will accept this morality, these principles from a very young age - and the mother will not be able to influence this state of affairs. On the contrary, attempts to explain that such relationships are a sin will lead to a split in the family. That is, a girl who thinks that she will go to an Orthodox church, and her husband to his non-Orthodox one, and everything will turn out well, is mistaken. Religions differ for a reason, and serious problems arise at the intersection of these differences.

Marriage is a very deep relationship that must constantly evolve, and if spouses go on different paths, this cannot but affect their relationship. I have a friend who went to Luxembourg, another one lives in Germany, married to an Italian of German origin. They are happy with their life. They admit that it is difficult to find an Orthodox church there, but for them this is not a primary problem; they are not particularly concerned about issues of spiritual life. There is no temple - and okay. The standard of living, comfort, safety, financial situation are more important to them, and religious issues are not a priority. As a rule, people of such a worldview do not see any tragedy in betraying their faith. For them, this is simply a different path, and the fact that they were baptized in childhood turns out to be unimportant.

What is marriage for a Christian?

It is clear that for a woman, the most important thing in life, as a rule, is family. She is ready to sacrifice a lot to obtain it. But, whatever one may say, this is a mercantile approach to marriage. Marriage from a Christian point of view is a path of endless improvement. If spouses are undergoing constant spiritual development, growing into each other, if they are a single whole and not two different people, this is a completely different level of relationship, deep, fulfilling, fundamental. But no one thinks about this during romantic meetings.

Don’t be late with the theory and don’t lose what you’ve gained

The young man wants to start a family, he is focused on this. But for this he needs to have certain knowledge, a base, and this is a very important point that I would like to especially emphasize. It’s too late to talk about marriage problems with a girl who has already fallen in love with a Muslim. Even before the start of any relationship, a child should have an idea of what marriage and family are. And parents should create such a base. We need to talk about relationships, tell what can serve as the basis for a good marriage and what can destroy it, why it is important that the husband and wife be of the same faith.

Young people need to know that, given the possibility of two-way developments, circumstances usually follow the worst-case scenario. The Apostle Paul long ago said everything about human nature: “The good that I want, I do not do, but the evil that I do not want, I do” (Rom. 7:19). If a woman had the right principles and was raised in the spirit of Christianity, it is not a fact that she will be able to preserve all this in a family whose principles are alien to her beliefs. “Do not be deceived: bad associations corrupt good morals” (1 Cor. 15:33). If she gets married or cohabits with a person who is alien in terms of religion, then everything that was laid down in childhood, everything that the priests taught in Sunday school and mom and dad, will soon be forgotten, and her husband will mold her into whatever he wants. It’s the same with young people who marry non-Christians - not everyone succeeds in converting them to their faith.

Why did the Lord leave his first wife, the daughter of Zion, according to the Book of the Prophet Isaiah?

So, we know that before this the wife of the Holy One of Israel was the “daughter of Zion”, who bore Him children. But the prophet Isaiah writes that the Lord was angry for the numerous sins of his children of Israel. And left their mother for this:

“Thus says the Lord: Where is your mother’s bill of divorce with which I sent her away? or to which of My lenders have I sold you? Behold, you were sold for your sins, and your mother was forgiven for your transgressions.” Isa.54:1

Isaiah writes a lot about why the Lord was angry with his children - the sons of Israel and why their mother was abandoned:

The vision of Isaiah, the son of Amoz, which he saw about Judah and Jerusalem, in the days of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz, Hezekiah - the kings of Judah.
Listen, O heavens, and listen, O earth, because the Lord says: I raised and exalted sons, and they rebelled against Me.
An ox knows its owner, and a donkey its master's manger; But Israel does not know Me, My people do not understand.
Alas, a sinful people, a people burdened with iniquities, a tribe of evildoers, sons of destruction! They forsook the Lord, despised the Holy One of Israel, and turned back.
What else should we hit you with if you continue your stubbornness? The whole head is full of ulcers, and the whole heart is withered.
From the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there is no healthy place: ulcers, spots, festering wounds, uncleansed and unbandaged and not softened with oil.
Your land is devastated; your cities are burned with fire; your fields are eaten up by strangers in your sight; everything was empty, as if it had been ruined by strangers.
And the daughter of Zion remained like a tent in a vineyard, like a hut in a vegetable garden, like a besieged city.
If the Lord of Hosts had not left us a small remnant, we would have been like Sodom, we would have become like Gomorrah.
Hear the word of the Lord, princes of Sodom; Hear the law of our God, O people of Gomorrah!
Why do I need your multitude of sacrifices? says the Lord. I am full of burnt offerings of rams and the fat of fattened cattle, and I do not want the blood of bulls and lambs and goats.
When you come to appear before Me, who demands that you trample My courts?
Bear no more vain gifts: smoking is disgusting to Me; New moon and Saturdays, holiday gatherings I can’t stand: lawlessness - and celebration!
My soul hates your new moons and your holidays: they are a burden to Me; It's hard for me to carry them.
And when you stretch out your hands, I close My eyes from you; and when you multiply your prayers, I do not hear: your hands are full of blood.
Wash yourself, make yourself clean; remove your evil deeds from before my eyes; stop doing evil;
learn to do good, seek truth, save the oppressed, defend the orphan, stand up for the widow.
Then come and let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be as white as snow; if they are red as crimson, they will be white as wool.
If you want and obey, you will eat the blessings of the earth;
But if you deny and persist, the sword will devour you: for the mouth of the Lord speaks.
How the faithful capital, full of justice, became a harlot! The truth lived in her, and now - the murderers.

So, the first wife is the daughter of Zion, she is also the capital of the Earthly Jerusalem who has become a harlot. Whose children did Jesus so dream of gathering: “Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to you! how many times have I wanted to gather your children together, as a bird gathers its chicks under its wings, and you did not want to! Behold, your house is left to you empty.” Matthew 23:37-38

And the second wife, according to the prophet Isaiah, is the wife of the non-Israelite pagan peoples previously rejected by the Lord. The Nesionian wife, who now, when the time of the Gentiles has come, bears him children called to “become like Christ.”

It turns out that there is a mother of the Israelites - the daughter of Zion. And there is a second wife - the mother of Christians, rejected from her youth, but now beloved by the Lord and bearing children to Him.

According to the book of the Apocalypse, the wife has a crown of 12 stars. The Apostle Paul wrote about the pain of giving birth to new Christians until Christ is identified in them. The twelve stars are the twelve apostles. This means that the wife has the rank of twelve apostles.

Is it possible to create a strong family with a traitor?

I believe that if a person changes his faith for the sake of love, he was not really a believer. He thought he was like that. A churchgoing Christian is unlikely to have a good relationship with a non-Christian. I think such feelings should at least alert him, and if there is a demand from the other side to accept another faith, then they should frighten him. Sometimes they are immediately presented with a choice: “If you love me, then you will accept my faith. If not, then you don’t love me!” And it’s good if an Orthodox person says: “That means we’re not on the same path.”

In general, I would be wary of a person who betrayed his faith for the sake of a relationship. Today he abandoned faith, from his God - where is the guarantee that tomorrow he will not abandon you? You need to think about who you are actually going to start a family with. How to give birth to children from such a person? I would not dare to build a relationship with a traitor. I think they are obviously losing.

In the book of the Apocalypse, the wife was rejected from a young age - grieving and abandoned by God

What else can you learn about a wife from the Bible? We can safely say that this is not the daughter of Zion, this is not an Israeli wife. This is a pagan wife, rejected from a young age and abandoned by God. Now He “received” it. Reading the Book of the Prophet Isaiah:

Rejoice, barren, barren; shout and shout, you who have not suffered from childbirth; because she who is abandoned has many more children than she who has a husband, says the Lord.
Enlarge the place of your tent, expand the covers of your dwellings; do not be shy, make your ropes longer and strengthen your stakes;
for you will spread to the right and to the left, and your descendants will take possession of the nations and people the desolate cities.
Do not be afraid, for you will not be put to shame; do not be embarrassed, for you will not be reproached: you will forget the shame of your youth and will no longer remember the disgrace of your widowhood.
For your Creator is your husband; The Lord of Hosts is His name; and thy Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel: He shall be called God of the whole earth.
For as a woman forsaken and grieving in spirit the Lord calls you, and as a woman of youth who was rejected, says your God.
I left you for a short time, but I will receive you with great mercy.
In the heat of my wrath I hid My face from you for a while, but with everlasting mercy I will have mercy on you, says your Redeemer, the Lord.
For this is to Me as the waters of Noah: just as I swore that the waters of Noah would come no more to the earth, so I swore not to be angry with you and not to reproach you.
The mountains will move and the hills will be shaken, but My mercy will not depart from you, and My covenant of peace will not be shaken, says the Lord who has mercy on you.
Poor thing, tossed by the storm, inconsolable! Behold, I will set thy stones in rubies, and make thy foundation of sapphires;
And I will make your windows of rubies, and your gates of pearls, and all your walls of precious stones.
And all your sons will be taught by the Lord, and your sons will have great peace.
You will be established in righteousness, you will be far from oppression, for you have nothing to fear, and from horror, for it will not come close to you.
Behold, they will arm themselves against you, but not from Me; whoever takes arms against you will fall.
Behold, I created the blacksmith who fans the coals of the fire and makes tools for his work, and I create the destroyer for destruction.
No weapon formed against you will prosper; and every tongue that contends with you in judgment, you will accuse. This is the inheritance of the servants of the Lord, their righteousness is from Me, says the Lord.

What to do?

Anyone who has entered into a relationship with a person of a different faith should first of all take their time. Extend the candy-bouquet period for as long as possible - to find out what your chosen one is like in everyday life, in illness, in irritation. To do this, you need to date for one and a half to two years, a year is the minimum. During this period, a person, as a rule, shows his true face, reveals not only his best side - and you can already decide whether he is suitable for you as a spouse. There is a lot to re-read, review, think about. We need to turn to experienced priests who are seriously involved in family issues, and, of course, pray.

No matter how ancient and irrelevant questions of faith may seem, these are fundamental questions. Life shows that a person can foolishly neglect God, but He is still the Creator of the Universe and permeates everything with His Providence. We were created for God and in God, and there is no escape from this. Spiritual laws work as clearly as the laws of physics.

It is a pity that in schools children study many strange and completely unnecessary subjects, but know little about family relationships. When the priests talk to them about this, what a huge response comes from them! They are interested, they think, their eyes light up. I think we need to engage in such education, it is very important. If we educate truly believing youth, the problem of marriage with people of other faiths will lose its relevance.

Archpriest Konstantin Lisnyak

How to choose a date

Most often, official registration does not coincide with the date of the sacred ceremony. There are a number of reasons for this, firstly, most lovers prefer to test their relationship over the years, and only later consolidate it before God. Secondly, the days when you can get married rarely coincide with the work of the registry office. For example, ceremonial painting almost always takes place on Saturday, but the Sacrament is prohibited on this day. Also, according to Orthodox rules, they are not held on Tuesdays and Thursdays, during the weeks of Easter and Maslenitsa, patronal and church festivals, during Lent, Christmastide and at night.

But favorable dates, according to the clergy themselves, are:

the first day of Sunday after the Nativity of Christ, or in other words “Red Hill”;
days of the Kazan and Iveron Icons of the Mother of God;
Day of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker.

It is best to turn to the wedding calendar, which is compiled specifically for each year, based on certain dates. You can also consult with the priest about the desired date and month.