God Himself created the family, and the wife was made from the rib of Adam. At the very beginning of the Bible it is said that God created one from man and woman. (Genesis 1:27)
Some Christians claim that the purpose of God's creation of a single whole was the birth of children, but the Holy Scriptures say that the Almighty gave Adam a helper so that he would not be lonely. (Genesis 2:18)
The Orthodox Church views a married couple as a piece of Her, created to demonstrate God's love to the world. Bound on earth through the Sacrament of Wedding continues its journey in Heaven, because spouses are one whole, while the duties of a wife to her husband in Orthodoxy and vice versa are clearly defined.
Orthodox family
God's family - a union of love and fidelity
An Orthodox couple has a special blessing from higher powers for their entire life together, protection and anointing for well-being, the birth and upbringing of children after the Sacrament of marriage. The husband has special responsibilities in the Orthodox family, which is built on the principle of Jesus - husband - wife.
If one of the spouses violates this order, the blessing disappears. By God's command, husband and wife are endowed with mutual responsibilities, the basis of which is the second commandment of Christ (Matthew 22:39):
- to love one another with God's love;
- remain faithful to each other;
- mutual respect;
- honoring parents on both sides as the basis for procreation;
- raising children according to the word of God.
The modern world practically denies the institution of not only church, but also official marriage, not understanding that cohabitants, they are not a family, live in fornication, and therefore sin, and there is no protection of God for them.
God is love, and the Orthodox Church stands on this foundation, therefore Christians who have realized the sinfulness of their lives can at any time legalize their marriage before the face of the Lord.
The sacrament of marriage can be performed over a couple, both members of which are baptized in Orthodoxy and have undergone certain preparations before the wedding.
Important! It's never too late to stand on your wedding scarf and attend church in God's temple. Only after the wedding does a small Christian church appear, one flesh before the eyes of the Creator. (Matthew 19:6)
Both husband and wife have equal rights; they are life partners.
To become one, young spouses must “cut the umbilical cord” with the older generation. Respecting and honoring parents is a sacred thing, but no one should be allowed to lead and rule except the newlyweds themselves.
A church marriage is indestructible if the couple lives according to the commandments of God. Only sin, especially fornication and adultery, can break the covenant made at the altar overnight.
Marriage
The Church is very strict about remarriage, because no one has lifted Jesus’ prohibition. (Matthew 9:9) Previously it was believed that only consanguinity, which the couple did not know about before, infertility for 7 years, or the death of one of the spouses could cause divorce.
Today the canons have softened a little. The official document of our Church, which is called “Fundamentals of the social concept of the Russian Orthodox Church,” sets out a whole list of reasons why a marriage can be dissolved. But we must always remember that for an Orthodox person the best way is to preserve the existing family. And only if all methods have been tried and have not brought results, there can be talk of divorce.
Family life is not built on the feeling of “butterflies in the stomach”; it is a difficult path. A union based on the blessing of the Church and true love (1 Cor. 13:4-9) will survive more than one decade.
The Hymn of Love, recorded by the Apostle Paul, if all its points are fulfilled, will help a married couple in Orthodoxy go through all the pitfalls of the marital path.
Duties of a wife in the Family Code
The Family Code, like any other official document, defines the responsibilities of spouses very briefly, so in Chapter 6 “Personal rights and obligations of spouses” there are only 2 articles.
Article 31 of the RF IC
1. Each of the spouses is free to choose their occupation, profession, place of stay and residence. 2. Issues of motherhood, paternity, upbringing, education of children and other issues of family life are resolved by spouses jointly based on the principle of equality of spouses. 3. Spouses are obliged to build their relationships in the family on the basis of mutual respect and mutual assistance, promote the well-being and strengthening of the family, and take care of the well-being and development of their children.
Thus, we see that the family code proposes to independently distribute responsibilities between spouses and offers them freedom of choice.
The second article states that spouses can take a common surname, leave the surname as before marriage, or make a double surname.
In general, the duties of a wife to her husband are not specified in the family code, so the distribution of responsibilities occurs by mutual agreement of the parties.
The husband is the head of the family
In prosperous families, a man is clearly aware of his role in the family. If the husband is the head of the family, like Jesus is the head of the Church, then the man will value, respect and take care of his soul mate, providing her with everything she needs (1 Cor. 11:1-3).
About family:
- Modern patriarchal family
- Responsibilities and Instructions for Husband and Wife
The Creator has prepared his own message for each person. The husband reads and does what is written for him, and Jesus commanded him to love his wife as Christ loves the Church, but it is written about submission for his other half.
In his letter, the Apostle Peter (1 Peter 3:1-7) clearly outlined his commands for married couples. The attitude of a husband to his wife in Orthodoxy implies:
- equality in property ownership;
- a prudent attitude towards your significant other in all matters of life;
- maintaining a woman's authority;
- protecting its interests and maintaining its good reputation.
The Bible calls a woman in Orthodoxy the weakest vessel. Imagine a man into whose strong, courageous hands God placed the finest, most exquisite crystal vase; this is his wife, mother of children, beloved. The slightest awkward movement, blow, strong compression and instead of the miracle of the Creator's creation - millions of fragments.
Interpreting the words of the Bible in their favor that a woman must submit to a man and she has no power over the body, some husbands turn their significant other into slaves without a voice and the right to think independently.
The woman is the keeper of the hearth. She is a light, gentle and warm, by guarding which you can always live in peace and comfort.
The status of the head of the family is to be the likeness of Jesus Christ, not a slave owner. An equal partner in the family is the spouse; she should have her own comfort zone, personal opinion and, of course, free time for herself. People say that a beloved woman is happy, and a happy one is always beautiful.
Relationship between husband and wife
A good owner has the most beautiful girlfriend in life, given by God, his soul mate, the queen, who has an equal share in the rule of the family.
Important! The head of the family, like Jesus of the Church, must give his mistress all the rights to resolve women's issues, supporting her attitudes and rules.
It is not appropriate for the king and the priest of the house to bring home gossip, sow discord and pettily find fault with any error.
The litmus test, the test for a man’s relationship with his partner, is Jesus and the Church.
Can a true Christian imagine an abandoned Church with children, not provided for by her Groom, who can cheat on Her?
A house, subordinated in its everyday life to the laws of Christianity and filled with spiritual life, an example of which is the head of the family, will always be under the protection of God.
Orthodox wife. How to find a husband and become happyNun Euphemia, 2022
“After marriage, the first and most important duties of the husband are towards his wife, and the wife’s are towards her husband. The two of them must live for each other, give their lives for each other. Before, everyone was imperfect. Marriage is the joining of two halves into a whole. Two lives are bound together in such a close union that they are no longer two lives, but one. Each person, until the end of his life, bears a sacred responsibility for the happiness and highest good of another.”
“A faithful wife does not need to be a poet’s dream, or a beautiful picture, or an ephemeral creature that is scary to touch, but needs to be a healthy, strong, practical, hardworking woman, capable of fulfilling family responsibilities, and still marked by the beauty that gives a high and noble goal for the soul.”
“Every faithful wife is imbued with the interests of her husband. When it’s hard for him, she tries to cheer him up with her sympathy and manifestations of her love. She enthusiastically supports all his plans. She's not a burden on his legs. She is the strength in his heart that helps him become better. Not all wives are a blessing to their husbands. Sometimes a woman is compared to a creeping plant entwining a mighty oak tree - her husband. A faithful wife makes her husband’s life nobler, more significant, turning him with the power of her love to lofty goals. When, trusting and loving, she falls to him, she awakens in him the most noble and rich traits of his nature. She encourages him to have courage and responsibility. She makes his life wonderful, softens his harsh and rude habits, if there were any.
But there are also wives who are like parasitic plants. They entangle themselves, but do not share anything themselves. They don't lend a helping hand. They lounge on sofas, stroll the streets, daydream over sentimental novels and gossip in living rooms. They are absolutely useless and, being such, become a burden to the most tender love. Instead of making the husband’s life stronger, richer, happier, they only interfere with his success. The result for them also turns out to be disastrous. A faithful wife embraces and wraps herself around her husband, but also helps and inspires. Her husband feels how her love helps him in all areas of his life. A good wife is the keeper of the family hearth.”
“For every wife, the main responsibility is to organize and maintain her home. She must be generous and kind-hearted. A woman whose heart is not touched by the sight of grief, who does not strive to help when it is in her power, is deprived of one of the main feminine qualities that form the basis of female nature. A real woman shares with her husband the burden of his worries. Whatever happens to the husband during the day, when he enters his home, he should enter into an atmosphere of love. Other friends may cheat on him, but his wife's devotion must remain constant. When darkness sets in and adversity surrounds the husband, the devoted eyes of the wife look at her husband like stars of hope shining in the darkness. When he is broken, her smile helps him regain strength, like a ray of sunshine straightens a drooping flower.”
“The duty in the family is selfless love. Everyone must forget his own self, devoting himself to another. Everyone should blame themselves and not others when things go wrong. Endurance and patience are required, but impatience can ruin everything. A harsh word can slow down the merging of souls for months. On both sides there must be a desire to make the marriage happy and overcome everything that interferes with this. The strongest love most of all needs its daily strengthening. Most of all, rudeness is unforgivable in our own home, in relation to those we love.”
“Some wives think only about romantic ideals, but neglect their everyday responsibilities and do not thereby strengthen their family happiness. It often happens when the most tender love perishes, and the reason for this is disorder, negligence, and poor housekeeping.” Empress Alexandra Feodorovna
Paisiy Svyatogorets gave instructions to those entering into marriage
Those entering marriage can be advised to confess to one confessor; this will be a great help in a newly born family.
Paisiy Svyatogorets said this:
“Take two unplaned boards.
One has a knot in one place, the other - in another.
And if you want to connect them as is, unplaned, then there will be a gap between them.
However, if you slightly plan the first board in one place, and the second in another, they will immediately fit one against the other.
You just have to plan with the same plane.”
Paisiy Svyatogorets
saint
I would like to end with the words of the Apostle Paul:
Lines from the 13th chapter of the Epistle to the Corinthians are called the “Hymn of Love”
If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but do not have love, then I am a ringing brass or a sounding cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries, and have all knowledge and all faith, so that I could move mountains, but do not have love, then I am nothing.
And if I give away all my property and give my body to be burned, but do not have love, it does me no good.
Love is patient, merciful, love does not envy, love is not arrogant, is not proud, is not rude, does not seek its own, is not irritated, does not think evil, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails, although prophecy will cease, and tongues will be silent, and knowledge will be abolished.
(1 Cor. 13:1-8)
By leaving a comment, you accept the user agreement
John Chrysostom wrote that a husband should love and protect his wife, and a wife should obey her husband
John Chrysostom talks about the duties of a husband in an Orthodox family:
“So, loving is the business of husbands, and yielding is the business of wives. Therefore, if everyone does their duty, then everything will be strong; Seeing herself loved, the wife is friendly, and when she meets obedience, the husband is meek.
Look how it works in nature, so that the husband loves and the wife is obedient; for when the superior loves the subordinate, then everything is fine.
Love is not so much required from the subordinate as from the superior to the subordinate, for obedience is required from the subordinate...
Therefore, when a wife submits, do not be magnified; and you, wife, when your husband loves you, do not be arrogant; Let neither a man's love excite conceit in a wife, nor let a wife's subordination puff up her husband.
God subjected her to you so that she would be more loved; and He inspired his husband to love you, wife, so that it would be better for him to obey you. Do not be afraid of submission: for it is not at all difficult to obey someone who loves.
Do not grow cold in love, husband, for your wife is yielding to you. Union is possible in no other way. You have the necessary power by nature, but also have a union of love. This union allows the weakest to be tolerated.”
John Chrysostom
archbishop
True Christians have strong families
The husband must be a support for his wife, so that she feels protected and does not have worries higher than her own. A woman is the weakest vessel (1 Pet 3:7), so let her remain so! After all, a woman doesn’t need much: just to feel care and love from her husband.
He will give flowers not for a holiday, but just because he loves her. He will take you to the theater or cafe at least once a month, and organize a walk in the park with ice cream.
Let her husband protect and protect her fragile nature from all bad weather.
He will ask how she spent that day while he was at work. This won’t be a big deal, but how his missus will blossom, how she will look at her protector and beloved!
With this attitude of the husband, the wife usually gets a second wind and she can provide twice as much care and attention to both him and his children. Without noticing it themselves, men deny themselves such pleasure as an always cheerful and kind wife. And vice versa, neglecting their responsibilities, they have wives at home who are grumpy and aging before their time.
