Does anyone who marries a divorcee commit adultery?

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Question:

How do you comment on the Bible verses that say that anyone who marries a divorcee commits adultery?

Jesus Christ said this more than once in the New Testament when it came to adultery.

Context determines meaning

We first come across this statement in Matthew 5, where Jesus spoke about adultery:

“You have heard that it was said to the ancients: You shall not commit adultery. But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye offends you, pluck it out and throw it away from you, for it is better for you that one of your members perish, rather than your whole body being cast into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away from you, for it is better for you that one of your members should perish, and not that your whole body should be cast into hell. It is also said that if anyone divorces his wife, he should give her a divorce decree. But I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of adultery, gives her a reason to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 5:27-32).

This entire passage shows what adultery is and how serious its consequences are, including divorce. Adultery is a reason why someone might leave their wife. If a man leaves his wife not because of adultery, then he gives her a reason for adultery. If he divorced because she committed adultery, then whoever marries that woman will also commit adultery by marrying the woman who committed adultery.

Divorce law

This can be better seen by looking at the Old Testament passage that Jesus Christ referred to when speaking about the bill of divorce. This passage talks about cases of divorce:

“If a man takes a wife and becomes her husband, and she does not find favor in his eyes, because he finds something nasty in her, and writes her a bill of divorce, and gives her into her hands, and sends her away from his house, and she will leave his house and go and marry another husband” (Deuteronomy 24:1-2).

When the Pharisees wanted to know what reasons for divorce were included in this commandment, they asked:

“...is it permissible for a man to divorce his wife for any reason? He answered and said to them, Have you not read that He who created in the beginning made them male and female? And he said, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh, so that they are no longer two, but one flesh.” So, what God has joined together, let no man separate. They say to Him: How did Moses command to give a letter of divorce and divorce her? He says to them: Moses, because of your hardness of heart, allowed you to divorce your wives, but at first it was not so; but I say to you: whoever divorces his wife for reasons other than adultery and marries another commits adultery; and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:3-9).

In this passage, God said that the woman should be given a letter of divorce precisely to protect her from a man with a hard heart who was looking for reasons for divorce. The Pharisees were looking for the same reasons to start a conversation with the Savior. Therefore, God told the man with a hard heart to give his wife a letter of divorce, which is a document that allows the woman to remarry. God allowed this woman to remarry and did not say that whoever married her was doing anything wrong. Jesus Christ specified that a man commits adultery only if he marries a woman who has been divorced for adultery.

Is it a sin to marry me? I am divorced.

Estimated reading time: 3 minutes.

Reader question:

Hello, father. I have a question about fornication. I got married and it so happened that my husband could not give me the proper attention as a man. They treated me, went to doctors - all to no avail. Two years later they decided to get a divorce, but he needed citizenship. They took the application for divorce from the registry office so that he could obtain citizenship, and decided to live together as neighbors. It was convenient for him that the woman was in the house, and it was convenient for me that there was no need to move. After these events, I began to actively communicate on the Internet with the guy. In total, we knew each other for two years, communicated daily on the Internet, on Skype for three months, met, liked each other and decided to live together. He knew about my fictitious marriage. He himself came from another city and took him to his place. We decided to live, get to know each other and then get married if we both wanted. Several more months passed. The guy believed strongly, began to study the Bible and learned that our relationship is sinful, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. They decided to stop fornication, began to pray every day, repent, they wanted to get married later, in a year, the husband would have received citizenship. They wanted to live according to God. But now he has again decided that I am divorced and he cannot marry me and chooses God. Our relationship is sinful, we started wrong. I changed my shoes along the way, basically. But I want to understand who is right, who is wrong and what to do? I started looking because of my husband’s weakness. The Bible says that a man should not marry if he “cannot,” which leads the wife into sin, because the flesh demands it. But still I sinned, I committed adultery in marriage. And my boyfriend is probably right, if we stay together, then I’ll make him sin, because you can’t marry divorced people. Please advise me something. The situation is very difficult, in my opinion. Thank you.

Archpriest Andrei Efanov answers:

Good afternoon

Indeed, according to the documents “Fundamentals of the Social Concept of the Russian Orthodox Church,” inability to cohabitate in marriage is one of the grounds for divorce. In this case, it’s really not your fault that the family broke up.

As for your second companion, let him not lie. Sin is that you began to live outside of marriage. And if he had the intention of marrying you, then it would be normal and logical to legitimize your relationship with him before God and people. After all, you already lived together, you already had a marital relationship, they just needed to be brought back to normal. And now it turns out that he strives for a supposedly pure life, but at the same time there was still a sin, and even the woman he supposedly wanted to marry, that is, you, he puts in an even worse situation, leaving her alone, out of wedlock, those. throwing. So you would not introduce him into any new sin through marriage; on the contrary, legal family life would take the place of sin.

Another question is that if he does not want to be with you and simply found a reason for this, then you will not do anything about it, because it is impossible to force a person. You can, of course, talk to the priest to whom he confesses; if you wish, then come and talk together. I think this is the most reasonable thing to do now.

And in the future, if things don’t work out, there’s no need to live outside of marriage. If a person is serious, meet him without crossing the line, get married - and then let a full-fledged married life begin. And if there is no marriage, then nothing is needed. This is not divine, and you yourself can see that nothing good comes from this.

God bless you!

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This principle also applies to men.

In the Gospel of Mark, Jesus Christ said:

“...whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her; and if a wife divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery” (Mark 10:11-12).

So let no one think that only a man who marries a woman divorced for adultery commits this sin. The same applies to a woman who agrees to marry a man who is divorced for this reason.

Does Orthodoxy allow remarriage?

Olga Didkovskaya

Archpriest Valentin Makarov answers:

– Just as it is God’s will for young people to get married, it is not His will for people to dissolve their marriages. “Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6). However, the Lord himself allows in His words one condition under which a marriage is destroyed - adultery or adultery. We also find His words about this exception.

There are many secrets in a marital union. No wonder ap. Paul in his letter to the Ephesians, which we usually read at weddings, talks about the mystery of marriage. He compares the Christian meaning of marriage to the relationship of the Bridegroom of Christ with His Bride - the Church. Earlier than Paul, John the Baptist speaks about this on the banks of the Jordan, calling himself the friend of the Bridegroom. Even much earlier than both of them, the prophets Jeremiah, Ezekiel, and Hosea spoke about this, comparing Israel with a whorish bride who rejected her Bridegroom and, without waiting for Him, left after others. Such significant examples from Sacred history clearly give marriage great depth, and not the petty “getting married”, as people who do not know God look at it.

It is no secret that the cause of most divorces is marital infidelity. All you have to do is put a snake in your heart and someone else’s spouse in your bed. Sin, having settled in the heart, begins to give birth to its babies in the form of side passions: anger and malice towards those to whom a person should show love and mercy. It becomes unbearable to see your wife or husband and your children. Households will silently denounce and judge the fornicator by their mere presence and ignorance. Or the unfaithful wife begins to cling to the person living with her over every little thing, making life together unbearable.

If a person thinks that because of one time no one will find out, then he is deceiving himself. Your face will be like Cain's, darkened and downcast. The family is broken, the marriage is broken up.

But every cloud has a silver lining. It is often at moments of spiritual turmoil that people come to God. Only He can comfort and heal any trauma. Devoted women, as a rule, with children, find a real Groom for their hearts, who will not cheat or betray. We get to the heart of the question: “What should they do next?” By this point, the ex-husband has been living with someone else for a long time, and only occasionally asks to see his children, believing that he has every right to do so.

What do we see from the opposite side? Pious young people, trying to achieve spiritual purity bordering on ritual, look exclusively for virgins to be their first. Moreover, in addition to innocence, they are also looking for roundness and harmony. Well, they have the right, you can’t argue here. Only such searches can drag on for many years, and then, 40 years are not far off? Would it be fair to look for a 20-year-old bride if there are 30-year-olds nearby who are no less eager than you to find their one and only, to become his faithful wife and mother of his children? And even if some of them were previously married? Can't they hope for the restoration of a healthy married life and normal male upbringing of both their own and their common children?

Those who marry sacrifice themselves to each other. You no longer belong to yourself, but to your family. And since you give yourself, why are you looking for yours? Our bodies, time, strength belong to our spouses. Only with our souls do we belong to God. And, if you see that you can wipe away someone’s tears, give joy to partially orphaned children, give hope and the opportunity to heal previously inflicted wounds, then you will show courage. Maybe then you will become a real man. In the meantime, there are many with beards, but few men.

How does this principle apply to Christians who remarry?

Another question the reader may have is how to apply these principles if a man or woman was divorced due to adultery and then sincerely turned to God, made a New Covenant with Jesus Christ, and now lives in complete obedience to Him. Can they remarry? Is a person committing adultery who agrees to marry such a Christian? In no case. Anyone who has sincerely turned to God, made a New Covenant, and been born again is now a new creation, as the Scripture says:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; The old things have passed away, the new things have come” (2 Corinthians 5:17).

A person who has accepted God can create a family in the Lord. Anyone who marries such a Christian or such a Christian woman does not commit adultery, because he or she marries not the former adulterer and lecher, but a new person in Christ. The old has passed away and now everything has become new.

Translation: Moses Natalya