"Boys and girls, and their parents." Part 2

What the Bible Says About Parents

The question of what the Bible says about relationships between generations is one of the most frequently asked questions on our site. Below we present the main, although, of course, not all biblical texts related to this topic.

The statements of Holy Scripture about the relationship between parents and children are very numerous, since this is an important spiritual and moral problem in people's lives. Each era within its culture contributes something of its own to its solution; The Bible gives us a spiritual perspective on this issue. The most important thing that the Word of God tells us about these relationships is that they are always built in the face of God and the Creator is far from indifferent to how we act towards our own parents and children.

The statements of Holy Scripture on this topic can be divided into four groups. First, the relationship between parents and children is discussed in detail in the Pentateuch, mainly within the framework of the Mosaic legislation. We find the first and one of the key words about family relationships at the very beginning of the Bible, in the story of the creation of man. By establishing marriage as the norm of family life, the Lord speaks of a certain age-related emancipation of children from their parents, without canceling the moral content of their relationship. Further, the remaining books of the Pentateuch mainly contain commandments about the honor and respect of children for their parents. The words of reverence included in the Ten Commandments, the foundation of biblical faith and morality, are not limited by age or a person's own marital status; the duty of honoring parents is elevated here to a duty not so much to the parents themselves, but to God.

At the same time, the law obliges parents to take care, first of all, about the moral character of their children (Deut. 21:18ff). Although in some texts there are echoes of the tribal consciousness of the ancient Near East, which united all household members under the authority and moral responsibility of the head of the house, nevertheless, the Word of God, commanding the honor of parents, clearly separates the moral responsibility of children and parents for their lives (Deut. 24:16) .

The Law pays special attention to the prohibition of slandering parents. Here, perhaps for the first time in religious history, a word in its spiritual meaning is equated with an action.

The second group of statements about relations between generations is contained in the teaching and, partly, historical books of the Bible. Largely repeating what is said in the Law, the teaching books of the Bible focus on the responsibility of parents to take care of the spiritual growth of their children. Wisdom, which in educational books means living according to God's commandments, obeying God and avoiding sin, is the main thing that parents should pass on to their children. Educational books view righteousness as a work requiring both wisdom and willpower. Therefore, the teaching of wisdom, the teaching of the moral foundations of life, is associated here with the need to use parental authority. Indulging in the weaknesses and impulses of children leads, according to the opinion of Jesus, the son of Sirach, to disastrous consequences for both parents and children (Sir. 30:1sll). At the same time, educational books emphasize that in order to convey to their children the experience of righteousness, parents themselves must live in accordance with the commandments (Sir. 41:8sll). In addition, educational books talk about the duty of gratitude to parents for what they did for their children (Tob. 4:3-4, Sir. 7:29-30).

Small in volume, the third group of texts belongs to the prophetic books. The words of the prophets Isaiah and Ezekiel are of exceptional importance here. The Prophet Isaiah compares the attitude towards the earthly father and mother who gave life to man with the attitude towards the Creator Himself. From the similarity of these relationships follows a duty of honor and gratitude to both God and parents. At the same time, the responsibility of parents is likened to what God does in relation to the people He created.

The Prophet Ezekiel, refuting on behalf of the Almighty the popular ideas of his time, proclaims the personal responsibility of each person before God. Neither the righteousness of the father will save the son, nor the sin of the father will destroy the son; The righteousness of the son will not save the father, and the sin of the son will not destroy the father. God, therefore, builds a relationship with each person in a special way. At the same time, these words of Ezekiel emphasize that despite the significance of mutual responsibilities, the spiritual life of parents and children takes place quite separately, at least this applies to adult children. Therefore, relations between generations can sometimes become conflicting, as the prophet Micah says (this word will later be quoted by Jesus Christ). The prophets see the liberation of people from sin in family relationships as the result of the saving action of God, which must be accomplished through Christ. Only He can, according to the word of the prophet Malachi, turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, that is, give them the opportunity for true spiritual unity in the face of God.

In general, the Old Testament is characterized by viewing the relationship between parents and children in a religious context; this relationship must be dedicated to God and ordered worthy of Him. Already in ancient times, these ideas were in conflict with the non-biblical approach to the problem (2 Macc. 7:20ff).

Finally, the fourth and last group of sayings relates to the New Testament. To a large extent, the New Testament texts repeat, and sometimes directly quote, the most important thoughts formulated in the Old Testament. However, for the New Testament the problem of relations between generations seems to be a special case of relations between people in general; as in all other cases, disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ are called to love their neighbors - including their relatives. The Lord Himself, as the Gospel emphasizes, subordinated Himself in childhood to the parental authority of His Most Pure Mother and the named father Joseph. Subsequently, the Lord more than once turned to the words of the prophet Micah and emphasized that relationships with God are fundamentally important for the organization of any human relationships. Because of this, they can also be a cause of separation between people, including relatives. The Lord calls the disciples His family (Matthew 12:46ff), giving family relationships a radically spiritual character. A special place among the words of the Lord Jesus Christ is occupied by the parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32), in which the Lord, like the prophet Isaiah before, speaks of the similarity of a relationship with God and a relationship with parents. An example of love and compassion uniting parents and children for all time was the sorrow of the Most Holy Theotokos at the foot of the Cross.

The letters of the Apostle Paul, in a new context, repeat the commandment to honor parents as a call to love. The apostle emphasizes that children and parents are called to love and their responsibilities to each other are mutual. Speaking about honoring parents, the apostle also adds the words that parents should respect their children.

A Biblical View of Children

Short life, hard life

Along with promises of blessings for fulfilling the commandment, consequences for non-fulfillment are also implied. These consequences are described in detail elsewhere in the Bible, first in the civil law, and then in the Old Testament books of wisdom.

When God revealed the law by which the people of Israel were to live, He included punishment for those who flagrantly and unrepentantly violated the fifth commandment. It may be shocking that the severity of the punishment is similar to those for murder and other serious crimes:

“Whoever strikes his father or his mother must be put to death. Whoever curses his father or his mother must be put to death” (Ex. 21:15,17).

“Whoever curses his father or his mother shall be put to death; He reviled his father and his mother: his blood is on him” (Lev. 20:9).

“If anyone has a son who is violent and disobedient, who does not obey the voice of his father and the voice of his mother, and they punish him, but he does not listen to them, then let his father and his mother take him and bring him to the elders of his city and to the gates of their residence and will say to the elders of their city: “This son of ours is violent and rebellious, does not listen to our words, is a spendthrift and a drunkard”; then let all the inhabitants of his city stone him to death; and so destroy evil from among you, and all Israel will hear and fear” (Deut. 21:18-21).

And today we expect our children and teenagers to be naughty! And we even seem to have a normal attitude towards such defiant behavior! But God's law shows how seriously God takes His fifth commandment. Why do we approach this commandment so frivolously?

The book of Proverbs further shows the horrors and consequences of disrespecting parents:

“He who ruins his father and drives out his mother is a shameful and dishonorable son” (Prov. 19:26).

“Whoever curses his father and his mother, his lamp will go out in the midst of deep darkness” (Prov. 20:20).

“Whoever curses his father and his mother, his lamp will go out in the midst of deep darkness” (Prov. 30:17).

And although the Proverbs of Solomon are written in poetic language, the picture is quite clear: for those who fulfill the fifth commandment, the most pleasant blessings are promised, but for those who do not fulfill a terrible judgment is prepared. God expects and requires children to honor their parents.

Why should children honor their parents?

First, because nature requires it, as Paul says: “This is what justice requires.” God created humanity in this way so that children would honor their parents. All people, at all times, knew this and accepted it as a matter of course.

Secondly, God's law requires it. Paul quotes the fifth commandment to show that God demands worship, that this is His will for mankind.

Thirdly, the Gospel demands it. Paul exhorts children to obey their parents “in the Lord.” Those who have placed their faith in the Lord are called to follow Him in all things. The gospel assures children that they can joyfully honor their parents and gives them motivation to do so.

What will happen to those who listen to nature, law and gospel and honor their father and mother? God blesses them: “May your days be lengthened, and may it be good for you in that land.” God's blessing for those who keep the fifth commandment takes two forms: long life and good life. These blessings become both a motivator and a natural consequence of obedience.

Duty of Honor

You and I live today, and not in the times of ancient Israel. We are no longer subject to the civil law of the Israeli people. But God's blessings extend to our days, to us. The Apostle Paul himself exhorts the children of Ephesus, saying that God will bless them if they honor their parents. They recognized, as we recognize today, that the promise of the Promised Land was no longer valid. (Did you notice that in Ephesians 6, Paul quotes the Old Testament, but does not include the promise of the land “that the Lord God is giving you”?) But the basic rule remains: If we live in obedience to God, God will favor us, if we do not listen to Him, He withdraws His favor. We have an obligation to our parents to honor them. And it looks like this: honor God by honoring your parents, and expect that everything will be fine with you; dishonor God by dishonoring your parents, and expect nothing good. This is how God created this world.

Question

God extends His blessings to those who honor their father and mother. The Bible does not teach any restrictions on this commandment. There is no indication that the duty to honor parents ends with adulthood, marriage, or financial independence. There are no exceptions for cases where our parents behave dishonestly, evilly, intolerably and even cruelly. We will definitely talk about this in the future, after talking about the sensitive topic of submission.

But for now, let me end this conversation with a question: Do you want blessings? Do you want to experience God's favor for yourself? Then honor your father and mother. The way I see it, it's simple and straightforward. God blesses those who fulfill this commandment.

Tim Shally / hristiane.ru

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Responsibilities of parents to support children

Of course, the Bible places a special place on the moral education of children, but such an important component as taking care of physical needs also does not go unnoticed.

The Apostle Paul said:

(2 Cor. 12:14)

“It is not the children who should collect wealth for their parents, but the parents for their children.”

The Bible condemns careless parents. A child in need is unhappy, prone to despondency, and his safety is at risk.

How to raise children

The Bible Reveals Parenting Techniques and Relationships

Morals

We come across many stories and parables that illustrate in artistic form the basic postulates of the requirements. Moral teachings are built through understandable images that evoke sympathy. Likewise, parents should accompany conversations with vivid examples passed through their own hearts.

Own example

(Prov. Sa. 4:3)

“For I too was my father’s son, dearly beloved and the only one of my mother.”

It is impossible to teach if you yourself do not serve as an example. If you want to form a spiritually developed personality, you yourself need to constantly check your life with the commandments of the Heavenly Father.

Punishment

The Bible has a lot to say about the benefits of punishment. Modern society has a negative attitude towards physical impact, but is it possible to completely do without restrictions? No. And the Bible tells us that permissiveness is fertile ground for vice.

There are many forms of influence on children's pranks: from limiting games and walks to the opportunity to correct what they have done through their own work.

The fight against childhood vices is not only a series of punishments and instructions, but also in constant prayer to God for your children. Do not forget the commandments of Christ: “Be like children”!

Prayer for children

There is a small prayer for children. It can be read when you ask God for them to grow up to be good Christians and not go down a bad path. God, our merciful and heavenly Father!

Have mercy on our children (names) and our godchildren (names), for whom we humbly pray to You and whom we entrust to Your care and protection.

Put strong faith in them, teach them to revere You and deign them to deeply love You, our Creator and Savior.

Guide them, God, on the path of truth and goodness, so that they do everything for the glory of Your name.

Teach them to live piously and virtuously, to be good Christians and useful people.

Give them mental and physical health and success in their work.

Deliver them from the cunning machinations of the devil, from numerous temptations, from evil passions and from all wicked and disorderly people.

For the sake of Your Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, through the prayers of His Most Pure Mother and all the saints, lead them to the quiet haven of Your eternal Kingdom, so that they, along with all the righteous, will always thank You with Your only begotten Son and Your life-giving Spirit.

Amen.

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